


"Read All You Want"

by MerthurIsMyOTP



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: BDSM, But later on he gets together with Frank, Dom!Gerard, F/M, Fanfiction in a fanfiction, It starts out with Gerard being married to Lindsey, It's Frank's first relationship, M/M, Master!Gerard, Master/slave (consensual), Multi, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Sexual Kink, Other, Past Abuse, Slave!Frank, Sub!Frank, non-sexual bdsm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 22:29:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 23,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8640601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerthurIsMyOTP/pseuds/MerthurIsMyOTP
Summary: Gerard is in love with Frank. He doesn't tell anyone.Frank is in love with Gerard. He doesn't tell anyone either.They cope with their feelings so different but yet all the same. Fanfiction. Gerard writes a lot of Frerard fanfics. He's actually a very well known "fangirl" in the MCR fanfiction fandom.Frank however, loves reading Frerard fanfiction and does it all the time. Little do they know that Gerard writes the fanfics that Frank reads.





	1. Dirty Dirty Smut

**Frank**

I've always been different than other people. I don't know why. It's just the way it is. It's been like that as far as I can remember. While all my friends listened to crappy pop music like Rihanna and Britney Spears, I listened to The Misfits. While they were the 'cool kids', I followed them in full emo outfit. Oh. I almost forgot to mention that I'm the only gay person I know or ever met. I never really fit in. But it's okay, I guess. It doesn't really bother me.

Sometimes, though, it would be nice if some aspects of me would be normal. I am perfectly fine with being gay. I am. But for once it would be nice if I crushed on another gay guy, and not on my-straight-best-friend/lead vocalist of my band. Yes. I have a crush on Gerard Way.

And no, I don't try to get over him like a normal human being would do. No. I'm not flirting with him, like another normal part of humanity would. No. I am reading fanfiction. I know it's wrong. Even sick maybe. But I love reading about myself being in a relationship with Gerard. I love reading the cute little drabbles, I love reading fics that have 50k+ words. But most of the time, I read smut. And not the innocent, bad written ones, but the ones that make porn look like nothing. The ones that make your cheeks flush, and cause you to jerk off in the middle of the night, when you hope that no one will hear.

There is one author in peticular that never fails to make my heart to beat faster in excitement. Like right now.

_"Ungh... G-Gerard!" I moan and Gerard chuckles as he slams into me faster and faster. I pull on the restraints that hold my arms in place, and whine desperately. "Gerard please-"_

I wrap my fingers around my cock and bite my lips, trying to be quiet. Gerard is asleep in the bunk right above me. I don't want to wake him up hearing my moans. That would be awkward. I buck my hips up in my own hand, while I keep reading the fic.

_"Oh yes Frankie... You're so tight holy shit... F-Frank I'm gonna-" and with that, Gerard comes deep inside of me. His body trembles and he pants heavily. I pull on my restraints desperately. "G-Gerard please I want it so badly..."_

I jerk of faster and I can't help but whimper. The idea of Gerard fucking me like that... I'd be so helpless... _O-Oh...._

_"Oh so you think you deserve it to come?" Gerard smirks and I groan. That fucking sadistic smile. He loves this. He loves seeing me all needy and desperate for him. I'm not complaining at all. But right now, I really want to come._

_"Please Gerard... haven't I been a good boy? Please..." I beg him. And then, he finally nods and strokes his hand up and down my length. "So pretty, Frankie. Such a pretty little slut for me, aren't you! So fucking eager to please me and-"_

My breath hitches and I quickly press my face into my pillow as I come. "U-Ungh..." I moan and I bite my lips as I try to be quiet. But my body shakes and the pleasure is almost too much and- _fuck_. Gerard shifts in his bunk and I swallow. _Please, be asleep... be asleep..._

"F-frankie? What the fuck were you doing? Please tell me I did not just hear you come?" I hear his hoarse, sleepy voice.

"Uhh..." is all I say back. Gerard chuckles. "Please do it while you're showering the next time, okay?"

"Sure Gee. Sleep well."

"Sleep well."

I read the last little part if the fanfic, and then I turn off my phone and close my eyes, trying to sleep. Just before I drift off, I swear I heard Gerard jerk off too. But of course, it was probably just my imagination.


	2. Gerard Way Is Pretty Much Gay

**Gerard**

"And I love you sugar. I'll see you soon!" I say to Lyn-Z through my phone. "I love you too Gee. Can't wait to see you again! Oh Bandit calls for me. I've got to go. Bye my love!" she says, and before I can say bye back, she ends the phone call. I sigh and stare outside of the window. The cars look so small from up here in the bus. Then I sigh and close my eyes.

Things have changed. And not just a little. I truly loved Lyn-Z when I married her. But the last year... I think it faded away. Of course I still like her, but I don't _love_ her anymore. I think of her in the same way I think about Mikey, or Ray. She truly means a lot to me... I'm just done with our relationship. Though of course I know I can't leave her. For Bandit's sake.

But I want to.

I want to leave Lyn-Z and then run into my best friend's arms to tell him how much I want him. How much I _need_ him. And how much I love him. Because while my love for Lyn-Z faded away, my feelings towards Frank grew stronger and stronger.

And last night... _Fuck..._ I woke up and then I heard him... he was jerking off, I could hear the little sounds of skin touching skin, I heard him pant, and moan, and I had to grip the sheets to keep myself from making any sounds. It was so fucking hot. I imagined what it'd be like, lying op top of him, hearing him moan while fucking him into oblivion and _ohhh..._ And then he came and I couldn't help but press my crotch into the sheets.

Frank heard and immediately went quiet, so I just pretended I had just woken up and asked him if I just heard him jerk off and if he could do that in the shower next time. Not because I didn't like the sounds of Frank jerking off, but because I didn't want to get caught getting off on him. I lay there for about ten minutes, waiting for Frank to fall asleep again. And then I couldn't hold back anymore and rubbed my hips against the sheets until I came.

I really don't know what to do. There are too many options but not one seems to fit and it's driving me crazy. Maybe I just need to leave things like they are. I'll stay with Lyn-Z, and I'll just keep turning my feelings for Frank into Frerard fanfics. Yes. I think that's the best thing to do.

It's funny to know that all my readers have no idea that it's Gerard Way writing their favourite fanfics. It's even more funny when they send me messages and start fangirling all over me and Frank. How they truly seem to believe that Frerard is real. I wish it would be...

I sigh and decide that I should get my mind off of things, before I'm a crying mess again. I want to stay strong. I don't want to become like how depressed I was back in 2004. But somehow I know that I can't live like this that much longer. I stand up and walk to my closet to grab my iPod, headphones and my laptop, and then I sit down in my bunk. I open my laptop and put my iPod on shuffle. I open my mailbox and I smile when I see five new comments on the one shot I wrote yesterday. I smile as I read them. They all really loved it! I reply to the comments and then I open a blank document to write a new one shot.

_Gerard_   
_I walk into the tour bus after the show and I quickly walk towards my bunk. I am so fucking tired... The others are still at the venue, but all I wanted was to just sleep. I take off my clothes and-_

"Gerard! We're at the hotel and- hey what are you writing?" I hear Frank's voice from behind me. I quickly slam my laptop shut and turn around to face Frank, my cheeks red in embarrasment.

"It's nothing."

"Aahh come on Gee!"

"No Frank it was _nothing_. Just... just don't ask me anymore okay. So hotel. Have you guys already decided who sleeps together in one room?" I say, changing the subject. Frank narrows his eyes but then decides to let it go.

"Yeah. Ray and Mikey are together, and so are we. You should pack your stuff." Frank says, smiles to me and then walks away. I sigh in relief. I should pay more attention next time...

I quickly pack the stuff I need at the hotel, and then I follow the others inside.


	3. Gerard Pins Frank Down And Frank Likes That

**Frank**

I wait, and wait, and wait... and then _finally_ Gerard announces that he is going to shower, and he walks into the bathroom and locks the door. I grin and wait another five minutes, until I can hear the water of the shower pouring down, probably all over Gerard's beautiful and naked- _No. Focus._ I walk over to Gerard's side of the room and start looking through his bags. Where is that fucking laptop? Gerard was so embarrassed when he noticed me earlier. I need to know what he was writing. I know it's wrong, but my curiousity is stronger than my conscience. _Much stronger._

But, I can't find the laptop. I look around and I know that I've looked in every single bag. Maybe he didn't take it with him? Maybe it's still in the bus? I bite my lips and think. Should I go to the bus and search for his laptop there? Oh fuck it, why not. I quickly pull on my shoes and a jacket and quietly leave the hotelroom. I walk towards the bus and greet a few of the security guards, and then I walk inside. I walk over to the bunks and open the closet where Gerard keeps all his stuff. _Bingo._ There it is. I open it and frown when I see that Gerard has a password. Well shit. I could of course try some things out...

**'Bandit'**

_Wrong password, try it again._

I groan as I try other things as well. Lindsey. Lyn-Z. Revenge. DangerDays. Mikey. It's all wrong... The genius of course thought of a password that no one will ever guess. "Fuck you, Gerard..." I mutter quietly, as I keep trying less common things. Lollipop. Elephant. Waterfall. Lemon. _Wrong password, try it again._ "No, _you_ try again stupid fucking laptop." I hiss and I bite my lips in frustration. There needs to be some way for me to get into his account...

**Gerard**

I sigh happily when I turn off the shower. That felt nice. Really nice. I needed it. I take a towel and start drying myself off quickly, knowing that Frank probably is waiting for me to finish. He always wants to shower too. I dress myself and make sure my hair is okay.

"Frankie, you can use the bathroom now!"

Silence. I frown. That's not like Frank. Even when he doesn't want to shower, he says something back. Maybe he has fallen asleep? I unlock the door and look around the room, but Frank isn't there. Well. that's weird. I shrug and leave the bathroom, and then I notice that my bags are a mess. I narrow my eyes. What has Frank been doing in here? Then my eyes go wide open. _No... NO!_ That bastard... He's done it before, the fucking idiot. He once stole my laptop and read everything that was on there. Luckily it was all innocent and boring then. But now it isn't. There are like millions of Frerard pictures on it, and about seventeen fanfics and one shots that are anything but innocent. Fuck! I need to find Frank before he finds my laptop... I quickly pull on my shoes and run out of the room, taking the stairs to the lobby, and then run outside towards the bus. I see the security guards and when they see me all stressed out, they chuckle.

"Are you looking for Frank? He's in there for about half an hour now."

"Fuck him... Argh I hate him!" I scream and I run into the bus and burst into the room where the bunks are. Frank looks up, startled, the laptop in his lap. His mouth falls open and his cheeks turn bright red. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?!" I scream and snatch the laptop away from him, I look at the screen, and sigh in relief. _Wrong password, try it again._

"Frank, I know that you're the most curious idiot on earth, but you _can't_ try to find out what's on my laptop! It's private! You are so lucky that you are not smart enough to guess the password, because if you would have found all the f-... things on my laptop, I would've fucking killed you, you understand?" I say angrily. Frank still stares at me in fear. "Y-yes Gerard... I am sorry..." he whispers quietly. "But you were acting so strange."

"I don't care whether I act strange or not. You do _not_ try to get into my account, do you understand me?" I hiss, and I put my laptop away where I left it. Frank gets anry too now. "Don't be a bitch Gerard, it's not like there's anything on that laptop is not PG-13. I bet you don't even watch porn. You probably lay in bed at night, never touching yourself, because 'you don't want to hurt Lindsey'. You're _pathetic._ "

I glare at Frank. " _What did you say?_ "

"You're pathetic."

And with that I throw myself onto him. I grab his wrists and press them into the matress harshly. Frank's eyes go wide open in shock and he swallows.

"G-Gerard what are you-"

"You will not try to get into my account again, do you understand!" I snap. Frank bites his lips. "I..."

"You will _not!_ Goddamn it Frank, promise me you won't do this again. Promise!"

"I promise. Sorry, Gerard. But...I-" he stutters and tries to get away from me. I tighten my grip on his wrists and stare at him. Frank's cheeks are bright red, and he looks as if he is really trying to flee. I frown and let him go. Frank quickly stands up and stares at me. "I am going to take a shower," is what he says before he walks away, leaving me there. Well, that was strange...


	4. Frank's Fantasies

**Frank**

_Fuck, fuck, FUCK!_

I quickly lock myself up in the bathroom and try to catch my breath. That... Woah... I didn't hear Gerard coming at all. Suddenly he was there, taking the laptop away from me. I was too startled to say anything and I barely got the excuse out of my mouth, but then I got annoyed and snapped at him, and then he took my wrists and pushed them into the matress and-  _Fuck..._ The annoyance was gone immediately. The blood rushed to my cheeks and other body parts of which I hoped Gerard didn't notice. But Gerard on top of me, pushing me into the matress, the angry look on his face... 

I quickly undress myself and rush into the shower. I lean against the cold wall while the hot water calms me down. I close my eyes and bite my lips, when I see again, how Gerard took control of me. It was just as in the fanfictions I read. I open my eyes again and look down at my hard on. I don't know if I should take care of it. I don't know when Gerard will be back, and it would be so awkward if he'd hear me jerk off now. Because he heard me yesterday too, and because he just pinned me down and I don't want him to know that I actually liked that. That it turned me on. No. He doesn't have to know that.

But on the other hand, if I don't take care of it now, I'll get aroused every single second I see Gerard, and then he would see my boner, and that would be really awkward too. Maybe, if I just be quiet... It's the best option.

I slowly curl my fingers around the base of my cock and groan.  _Yes... yes oh gosh this feels amazing..._ I lick my lips and tighten my grip as I start to move my hand up and down. Slow at first, but then faster, and faster... Images of Gerard fucking me appear in my head. He'd force me onto my hands and knees... He'd knot his fingers into my hair and pull my head back as far as possible. He'd slam into me as rough and fast as he could, groaning into my ear that I'm such a fucking slut. _His_ slut. And he wouldn't allow me to come, and I would try so hard, but I'd fail because the feelings would be too much, and then Gerard would press my face into the pillow so that I wouldn't be able to breath and he'd spank me so hard. _  
_

"Fuck..." I breathe out and move my hand faster. I use my free hand to pull on my hair because I love the pain it gives. I curl my toes as I feel that I am growing closer and closer to my climax. Another scene appears in my head. One where I'm restrained to the headbord with my hands, my ass high up in the air, and Gerard holding this riding crop. He trails the crop over my shoulders, my neck, my spine. Lower and lower, and then all of sudden, he smacks me with it, causing an explosion of pain. I'd moan, and Gerard would smack me again, hissing that I have to be quiet. And-

"F-fuck... Oh God... Y-yes... Ungh..." I moan and try to be as quiet as possible, but my vision goes blurry, I tighten my grip on both my hair and my cock, and then I come. I throw my head back against the wall and pant heavily.  _Shit... Oh that was good..._

I stay like that for a while. My head against the wall, panting, feeling the hot water all over my skin, and I sigh. Oh how I wish that some of my fantasies could be realily... In my fantasies, Gerard is good, but I bet he'd be even better in real life. He'd know exactly what to say to arouse me. He'd know exactly how to order me around. I'd do anything he wanted...

I ban the thoughts out of my mind, because I just had a good orgasm and these thoughts are making me sad. I quickly wash my hair and my skin and then I turn the shower off. I take a towel and rub myself dry, and then I dress myself and walk out of the bathroom. Gerard is there, already in his bed. Is he asleep? I can't see... I quietly walk over to my own bed and undress myself again, except for my briefs, before I crawl under the covers and make myself comfortable.

"Frank?"

_Shit._

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry for pinning you down like that. I didn't mean to scare you..." Gerard whispers quietly. I blink.

"It's okay Gerard. I wasn't scared."  _No. Not in the slightest._

"Oh." he says. And then it's quiet for a moment. I know that Gerard wants to say something else, but he can't find the words, or he doesn't have the guts to say it.

"Goodnight Frank."

"Goodnight Gerard."

"Oh. Wait. One more thing. Don't be so fucking loud when you jerk off. I really don't need to hear your slutty moans again." he says then. It's a good thing the room is dark, because his comment makes my cheeks go all red again.

"Y-yeah. Sure thing. I'll try. Sorry."

"Good."

And with that, Gerard stays silent. I try to calm myself down again, and then I close my eyes and quickly drift off.


	5. Realisation Hits Gerard, And He Does Something About It

**Gerard**

I groan as I wake up. I don't want to wake up. I just want to stay in bed forever and I never want to wake up again. Reality sucks at the moments, so seriously, if I developed some sleeping sickess right now, I wouldn't mind. Yesterday has been really weird. First the thing with the laptop, then, when I came back, Frank was showering and his moans were so loud, and for a moment, I just stood there, frozen. Listening to his moans. Then I felt the blood rushing down and my pants grow tighter, and I quickly crawled into my bed, so that whatever happened, no one would see my arousal. I heard every moan that Frank made, and it drove me nuts. At one point I was grinding myself into the matress, and just when I was about to come, Frank did too, and I knew I had to stop because from that moment on, Frank could walk in again. So I just lay there, waiting. My fists pressed into the matress as I was trying to control myself, and then I heard the lock of the bathroom door, and I quickly pretended that I was almost asleep.

Frank had been really quiet, trying not to wake me up, but I felt so nervous, that I just had to say something. So I apologized for pinning him down earlier. Frank said that he wasn't afraid at that moment, and that confused me, because when I had him under me, he really started to panic. I could see it in his eyes... And, again, I told him that he should jerk off more quiet. If it goes on like this, that guy will drive me sexually frustrated in a way I've never been before.

Then I blink. The past few days, I've only been thinking about Frank. About the way he walks, the way he speaks, the way he laughs, the way he plays guitar... and of course about his body, his muscles and hiss ass in particular. And his moans... Oh god those moans... But in all that time, I haven't thought about Lindsey once. Only when she called me, but after that, my thoughts were on Frank again.

This is not going to work anymore...

I bite my lips when I realize, that whatever happens, the thing between Lindsey and me is long gone... Fuck... How am I going to tel her? And what about Bandit? I can't lose my little girl... I love her so, so much... And does Lindsey still love me? Or does she have the same feelings as me? I guess I should talk to her about this... Rather sooner or later. Now I realized that it's over, I want this to be over. I want to end things with Lindsey. Make sure I get to see Bandit, and maybe... Maybe if I have the guts... Tell Frank what I feel about him.

But we'll see about that last part, because I know that I couldn't tell him this right now. I'm afraid. I don't like changes. I like things the best when they go as I want them to go, and when nothing changes. But I know that big changes are coming.

I groan and step out of my bed and dress myself. Frank is still fast asleep, and I leave it that way. I take my phone and walk out of the hotel room, down the stairs, and then outside. I look at the screen and take a deep breath when I dial Lindsey's phone number. My heart hammers in my chest and my hands start to sweat. I don't love Lindsey anymore, but I do like her as a friend. She's a very sweet women.

"Hey Gee! How are you? Why are you calling me so early this morning? You know it's like seven AM here?"

"I... I know... Lindsey, we have to talk..."


	6. The Take Over, The Breaks Over

**Gerard**

I can hear Lindsey tense. She immediately knows that something's not right. She doesn't know what, but she knows that I'm going to tell her something that she won't like to hear. I can hear her tell Bandit that she's upstairs for a moment, and a about thirty seconds later, I hear a door close, and I know it's our bedroom door by the way it creaks.

"Gerard, w-what is wrong?" she stutters, and I can already feel my heart break in thousands of pieces. This is going to be hard. So I have to make sure to blame this all on myself, not on her... Which is the truth. She never did anything wrong. "Lindsey... I... I am sorry that I have to tell you over the phone, but I feel like it's important that we are honest to each other, and I've always appreciated our honesty in our relationship... And I know that we won't see each other that soon, which I why I want to talk with you about this now..." I start softly. Lindsey is quiet for a moment.

"You're not in love with me anymore. Are you?" she whispers. I sigh and nod, even though I know she can't see that. "I... I still like you Lindsey, you're an amazing girl, and I really want to keep seeing you, but yes... My romantic feelings for you are gone... Have been gone for quite a while now, to be honest." I confess, and fumble with the bottom of my shirt nervously. 

"I... Why... Why didn't you tell me sooner then? I mean..."

"Because I didn't want to cause Bandit all the pain that comes with this... And because I was hoping that my feelings for you would return. But they didn't, and I am so sorry... You've never done anything wrong, I promise."

"Well... I... Thank you... I... I saw this coming for a while now. You've been so distant lately... And, I am glad that we can be honest about this. Of course I am very upset now, but... Thank you for calling me, Gerard. I'd rather hear the truth, than that you'd lie to me about this. And don't worry about Bandit, we're still friends right. And if we ever get in some sort of fight, we could always make sure that Bandit doesn't know. And of course you can still see her as much as you want when you're back in L.A. I know how much she means to you. But, I am quite curious now. Is there anyone else?" she asks me then. I chuckle a little, because of course, Lindsey would know. "Yes, there is actually. But..."

"But what?"

"He doesn't know that." I say then. Lindsey makes a startled noise and I frown. "He? You're... Oh Gerard, I knew you weren't straight, I knew it!" she laughs and I laugh with her. She always tried to convince me that I wasn't straight, but I never believed her, until I got feelings for my best friend of course. "Yeah, you were right about that." I chuckle.

"So, who is it then?" Lindsey asks me curiously. I grin. "Can't you guess? It's very obvious, to be honest."

"Oh God, it's Frank. You're in love with Frank! That is so cute! No really Gerard. I wish you the best of luck with him. Go tell him. Promise me you'll tell him." she says and I tense. "No. No Lindsey I can't do that..." 

"Oh fuck you. Of course you can. It's easy. Go to Frank, say him you love him, and it's done! You can do this Gerard. Go for it." I groan and sit down.

"Fine. I'll tell him... i don't know when, but I will..." I sigh, and Lindsey hums in approval. "Make sure you tell him soon. You could be honest with me, and you can be honest with him. And Gerard... Have you never noticed the way that boy looks at you? It's pure adoration. I bet he has the same feelings for you."

"So, you want to bet? Well, I think when I tell him, he'll hate me. And if he doesn't, he'll create some distance between the two of us. Ten bucks."

"Deal, Gerard. But I'll win for sure. I know it."

"Of course you will... No Lindsey... But hey, enough about him, I am glad that we could talk about this. As soon as I'm back in L.A., I'll come visit you and we can talk about this further. I have to go now, we have an interview at 9 AM and I need to get ready."

"That's fine Gerard. Again, thank you for calling me. I'll talk to you later. And uh, you better tell Frank soon."

"Sure thing."

"Good. Bye Gerard."

"Bye Lindsey."


	7. I Am Gay

**Gerard**

"So... I broke things off with Lindsey." I say. Frank, who was just trying to sip on his coffee, drops the cup and hisses in pain when the hot liquid soaks his clothes. My eyes go wide and I quickly throw my glass of water over the soaked spots so that he won't burn. Frank looks at me. "Thank you."

"S-sorry I didn't mean you to drop the cup..." I whisper. Frank nods. "I know. And I meant the thank you. The water helped. But... Lindsey. You broke things off with her? Why? You love her!"

"Not anymore. I haven't been in love with her anymore for a long time. Today I decided I couldn't drag this out any longer. I called her, and she took it very well. She was upset, but she knew it was coming and she was glad I was honest with her." I explain. Frank just shakes his head. Not knowing what to say. So he just stands up and starts cleaning the floor. I stare at him. And he frowns at me.

"What. Do you want me to pity you or something?" he snaps. But before I can ask him what the fuck that was supposed to mean, there's a knock on the door. I glance at Frank one more time, who is stubborn and trying to clean the floor, and then I sigh and open the door. It's Ray and Mikey. "Hey Gerard-" Ray starts. "What the fuck is Frank doing." Mikey says then with a frown.

"Gerard made me drop my coffee." Frank mutters and once he's done cleaning the floor, he stands up and takes off his clothes. I quickly look away from him. "Yeah... uh... I told him I broke up with Lindsey and then he dropped his cup."

Mikey's eyes go wide and Ray just frowns. "But... why?" he asks me. I step aside so they can walk into our room and I close the door. "Because I don't love her anymore." I say, and tell them the exact same thing as I told Frank. Ray, of course, knows that there must be more. He always knows. "So... Is there someone else then?" _Fuck..._

"Well... Uhhh..." I stutter and my cheeks go red. Mikey chuckles and Ray just shakes his head and grins. "I knew it. So... Who is the lucky girl?" I blush even more at that, because well, they have no idea about the fact that I am not straight. So I just shrug. "I'm not going to tell you that. I am not even sure that my feelings are mutual. Actually I know they're not. So..."

Frank suddenly curses and when I look at him, I see he cut himself on one of the pieces of the broken coffee cup.  _Idiot..._ I quickly walk over to him and look at the cut. It's not a deep one, but it's bleeding, so I quickly grab a towel and press it against the wound. Frank looks up at me. "Thank you..." he whispers, and I have no idea why, but there are tears in his eyes.

"Mikey, Ray, could you please leave for a moment? I'll see you in an hour, okay." I say. Normally Ray and Mikey would ask me why, but now they see that something is wrong with Frank, so they nod and they just leave. I sit down next to Frank. It hurts me to see him like this.

"Hey... what's wrong?" I ask him softly. Frank shrugs.

"It's just... I've been in love with someone for a very long time now, but the feelings have never been mutual... You had a beautiful relationship, and you broke things off, and I am just jealous because I don't even have something to break off... Not that I'd want to break up but... You know what I mean..."

"That sucks... You know, the guy I've been-" I start and then blush when I realise my mistake. Frank looks at me in confusion. "Y-you're...?"

"I don't know. I thought I was straight until I fell in love with this man... Lindsey even laughed at me because she always told me I wasn't straight and I always thought she was wrong... But I have no idea whether I'm bi, pan, or gay... I don't really care." I say. Frank looks up at me and takes a deep breath.

"I am gay..." he whispers. Now it's my turn to look at hiim in shock. "What? I didn't know that! How long have you known?" I ask him. Frank shrugs. "I've known ever since I was a teenager." he says. I look at him and shake my head. "Woah..."

"So... When Ray asked you who the lucky girl was, it wasn't a girl?" he asks me. I shake my head again. "No. It's most definitely a man."

"Okay..."


	8. Frank Finds The Laptop Again, This Time He Doesn't Need A Password

**Frank**

The fact that Gerard is in love with a man, really messed with me all day. This means that I might still have a little chance with him... But just a little, because apparently he's already in love with someone else. Maybe I should try to seduce him. Not too obvious, but so small that even he won't notice that I'm doing something different than normal. Not that I have any idea how I should do that, but we'll see about the details later.

I walk into our hotelroom and smile when I hear the shower. Good. That means I've got some little more alone time. Tonight is the last hotel night in three  days, so I'll make sure to enjoy tonight. Bunks are nice, but not as nice as a soft and comfortable hotel bed. I close the door of the room and walk over to the beds, and then I freeze. Gerard's laptop is there. And it's open... I slowly take a few steps closer and I can't help but squeel softly when I see that Gerard forgot to log out.  _Yes!_ I know I shouldn't do this. I know how mad this would make Gerard, but hey, I just want to know. Maybe I can find something about this other guy that Gerard is in love with. If I know who it is, I'll know better what to do. So I take the laptop and sit down on my bed. I look at the screen, and try to figure out what it is. It's some sort of fan mail, I think?

**Hey! OH MY GOSH THAT WAS SO HOT, you should definitely write more! I can't wait to read more of you. You're the best author I know *takes a cold shower***

**Yay!! I'm glad you liked it! I'll write more soon ;)**

I frown. I scroll up and then I gasp. It's a fanfic. It's a fucking fanfic... I take a closer look and then squeeze my eyes shut.  _It's a Frerard fanfic..._ Hey. Wait. I've read this one! It's the one I read in the bus, when Gerard heard me jerk off. What is this doing on Gerard's laptop? Oh God, does he know that I read this? I scroll up a little more, and try to find out if Gerard has an account too.

He does.

_Fuck..._

This can't be true. This can't be happening. Gerard is the author of this fanfction? Gerard is my favourite author? That can't be... No... There must be some mistake... So I close the browser and go to Gerard's documents. And there, I find a lot of other fanfics too. I think I've read all of them... Oh my-

"Frank!" I hear Gerard's voice and I quickly look up. There he is. His cheeks bright red, and his wet hair sticks to his face.  _So hot.._. He looks at me, and at the laptop, and bites his lips nervously. "I-I can explain..." he whispers. I turn the laptop around and point at the screen. "Are those yours?"

"Well... I... Yes. Yes they're mine." he whispers. He quickly takes the laptop and sits down on his own bed. He doesn't do anything. He just stares at the laptop, and I know that he's afraid. Well... Maybe I should tell him...

I sigh and walk over to Gerard, and sit down next to him. He tenses, and I take his hand. "Gerard... I... I already read those fanfics. On my phone. I didn't know they were yours... I commented to every single one of them. Two nights ago in the bus, when you heard me jerk off? That was to one of your fanfics..." I whisper. Gerard looks up at me, and there are tears in his eyes.

"B-But... Why?"

"Why I read them?" I ask him, and Gerard nods. I take a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with you... And I thought I couldn't have you in real life, and in fanfics I could... Why... Why do you write them?"

"Because I love you, and in fanfictions I could do anything with you I wanted..."

We look at each other. There's still a lot of tension. Gerard still looks afraid, so I just give him a kiss on one of his cheeks. "These things that you write... About restraining me and stuff like that... Is that... Just for the fanfictions or would you really want to do that to me?" Gerard blushes even more. "I'd really want that..."

I grin and lick my lips. I don't know where the sudden confidence comes from. Probably from the fact that the guy I've been in love for so long, and who has the same fantasies as me, seems to like me back. I stand up from the bed and then kneel onto the floor. Gerard stares at me in shock. "Frank, I-"

"Gerard? I've been a bad boy. I looked on your laptop without your permission... You should punish me."


	9. Frank Likes To Be Called A Slut

**Gerard**

I stare at Frank and swallow. A second ago I thought he was going to hate me forever. Now he's on his fucking damn knees and and practically begging me to fuck him. No. He _is_ begging me to fuck him. _Holy shit..._ I feel the blood rush through my veins and I take a deep breath before I stand up and walk over to him. He smiles at me and rubs his head against my legs and purrs a little. I gasp and hesitantly pet his hair. "Fuck Frank... How are you even real... You're so... You're so submissive... Shit..." I whisper. He looks so perfect down on his knees. So sweet, and innocent, and yet very naughty.  _Fuck... This is going to be the death of me..._

"Are you sure, Frank?" I ask him one more time, just to be certain. Frank nods and smiles at me. "Yes. I really want to Gerard. Come on now, last night in the bus when you pushed my wrists into the matress, you where a lot more convincing." he teases me. I raise my eyebrows and smirk at the realisation that Frank wasn't afraid last night, but turned on. The panicking wasn't fear at all. He just didn't want me to notice his arousal, which is why he quickly ran away. And that's why I heard him jerk off in the shower of course. He liked it when I pinned him down. He liked it when I controlled him. Liked it when I was angry.

I lift Frank's chin and make him look at me. "Look at you. Such a pretty little slut, uh." I whisper seductively, and I can see Frank's eyes go wide at that. His breath hitches and he presses his thighs together a little. _Good._  "What did I tell you about my laptop?" I ask him, my voice a little lower than usual. Frank whimpers a little at that, and I bite my lips as I grin again. I'm going to have so much fun with him. This is just the start of everything, and he already responds so well to me.

"That I wasn't allowed to look at it..." he whispers quietly and tries to look down, but I force his head up again. "Did you listen to that?" I say then, and Frank shakes his head. "No Sir, I didn't..." he whispers, and feel heat rushing through my body when he calls me 'Sir'. It really gets me into the Dom mood, a mood that I haven't been in for a long time. I missed it. 

"Okay Frank, I think that you already know that I can't let you get away with this. You even asked me to punish you, so I will. And I hope that you'll listen better to me in the future. Will you? Or do I need to make you remember?" I growl and tangle my fingers in his hair and tug on it a little. Frank moans and shakes his head. "Please Sir. Make me remember..."

_Fuck..._

"Frank, stand up and undress yourself." I say with a sadistic smile. Frank looks at me and bites his lips, wondering what I have in mind for him. I grin and remember he liked it when I was angry with him yesterday. Maybe I can use that now. When I see Frank is still on his knees, I yank on his hair and snap at him. "Are you fucking deaf?"

Frank breath hitches as he quickly stands up and tugs his shirt over his head. I reach out for him and curl my fingers around his throat and squeeze just a little. Frank's eyes fall shut and he breathes out heavily. I take a step forward and move my lips against his ear. Frank whimpers and I can feel how he wants to drop on his knees again. _So eager to please..._ "Why aren't you naked?" I whisper seductively and squeeze harder. Frank moans and quickly brings his hands to his belt to unbuckle it, but his hands are shaking and I know that the pressure on his throat is distracting him. His face turns a little red, and Frank is trying to breath, but I hold him for just a little longer. Frank moans and starts to struggle, and I smile as I take my hand away.

When I let go, Frank takes a deep breath and sobs quietly in sexual frustration. He pulls his pants down as fast as possible, and I grin when I see he isn't wearing underwear. I take Frank's wrists in a tight grip and push him backwards until his knees touch the edge of my bed and he falls on it. I crawl on top of him and press his wrists into the matress, just above his head. Frank moans and presses his hips up, desperate for friction. I chuckle and move my lips to his ear again. "Fucking slut. You want me to fuck you, don't you?" I whisper and then I start sucking on his skin harshly, to mark him as mine. Frank whimpers and nods. "Y-yes want you to fuck me... G-Gee? No hickeys I-" Frank stutters and I quickly sink my teeth into his skin. Frank screams out and presses his hips up even more. "I can give you hickeys whenever I want, Frank. You're mine. You have no fucking say in things right now. You'll have to take whatever I want you to take, and I bet you don't even mind." I growl and bite him again. Frank groans out in pain and pleasure and _fuck he is beautiful..._

I bite my lips as I think of something to restrain him with, because of course I didn't bring my set of handcuffs with me on tour. Then I remember that Frank was wearing a belt. I look straight into Frank's eyes, and swallow as he looks back at me, his eyes reflecting his love and his trust... I smile and for the first time in my life, I kiss Frank. It's hot. It's messy. It's desperate. It's everything I've ever wanted.

"Frank, be a good boy and stay exactly like this, okay?" I groan between our kisses. Frank nods and moans loudly. "Y-yes Sir."

I quickly crawl off of the bed and reach for Frank's pants. I take out the belt, and drop the pants on the floor. When I turn around, Frank looks at me hungrily, and I moan. "Move your hands up to the headbord." I demand, and I can hear how my voice is a lot more hoarse than usual. Frank does as I say and I take him in. _Fuck him..._ His erection is leaking some precome onto his skin, and when Frank notices that I see it, his cheeks turn a bright shade of red. I smile and crawl on top of him again, this time so that my hips are on his and Frank moans at the friction. I smile and quickly restrain his hands to the headbord and check if Frank's blood circulation isn't cut off. It isn't. Frank moves his hands curiously and that's when it hits me that this is probably Frank's first time as someone's sub. Frank pulls a little harder on the restraints, trying to find out how far he can go. I let him try out, and chuckle when Frank bites his lips as he realises that he is _restrained._

"Well? Do you like this? Like being tied up?" I ask seductively and Frank groans. "Oh yes I do..." he says and blushes. I smile. "You're so fucking pretty... Damn I want to fucking hurt you..." I groan, and I can see how much those words affect him. "P-Please Sir. _Please_ hurt me..."

"How bad do you want it?" I growl, feeling my pants grow even tighter. I want to hurt him. I want to make him scream out. I want to fuck him so hard he'll feel it tomorrow. But only if he agrees. Frank swallows at my question. "Remember that one fic, Sir? The one where I was in your playroom and it was my first time, but you didn't care and just hurt me and used me? I..." he says and he pulls a little more on his restraints, wanting to feel how he's held down. I nod a little and my breath hitches. "You want it like that? Me using you like that?" I whisper. Frank nods and closes his eyes. "Please..."

And that's when I lose the thoughts where I was hesitating what I could and couldn't do with him. I quickly undress myself, and Frank stares at my body, and he moves his fingers and I know he wants to touch me. As soon as I am fully naked, I lower myself so that my naked skin touches his, and Frank groans at the feeling. "Fuuuuck..."

I cup Frank's face between my hands and kiss him roughly, and rock my hips so that my cock brushes against his thighs. Frank tries to lift his hips far enough to get some friction himself, but I make sure he doesn't get it anymore. Frank sobs and throws his head back. "Please Sir..." he begs me, but I kiss his earlobe. "No..." I whisper and Frank moans. "And you know why Frankie?"

"N-No...?"

"Because you've been a bad boy. Bad boys do not get any friction until they prove that they deserve it..." I whisper, and I crawl up a little more, my groin closer and  closer towards Frank's face. He gulps and his lips slightly fall apart. I smile at that. "You want to prove to me that you can be good?" I purr and Frank nods, his eyes wide open. "Yes Sir, yes I really want to. Please..." he pleads. I chuckle and move my hands so that the tips of my fingers brush the skin of his mouth. Frank lets out a shaky breath and closes his eyes for a second, and opens them again. He stares at me and tries not to move his lips, not wanting me to stop touching his lips. "Open your mouth, my sweet little slut, and show me how good you can be."

I don't need to say that twice. Frank opens his mouth and I move close enough so that my cock brushes against his lips now, making Frank whimper and tug on his restraints. I decide not to tease him anymore, and I push into his mouth just a little, earning a pleased moan from Frank as he starts sucking me off. I groan and close my eyes as his warm and wet mouth surrounds me. _Fuck... Fuck his mouth... His lips... Sot hot... So good..._

"Fuck Frankie... So good. Don't stop. Don't you fucking dare to stop, or I'll spank that sweet pale ass of yours a-and... Fuck... And fuck you until you can't even remember your own name. Ungh..." I moan, and maybe, _just maybe,_ I shouldn't have said that, because Frank immediately stops sucking me and grins. I narrow my eyes and Frank giggles a little. "What? I want that. If this is what I need to do for that..."

"You _are_ a fucking painslut, aren't you? Too bad that I don't have any toys with me... Oh God I'm going to enjoy using a riding crop on you... But right now my hands will do." I growl and try to ban the thoughts of what Frank will look like when I hit him with my crop every single time he whimpers. Oh God he'll be beautiful. Frank moans a little at the insult and nods. "Come on, use them then." he says with a smirk, still trying to make me rougher with him. Well, if he wants it rough, he can get it. "Raise your legs, bitch." I growl and Frank's eyes widen. "Y-yes Sir." he whispers and raises his legs. I smile and crawl off of his body, and admire the sight of his pale ass. I can't wait to smack it until it colours bright red. "Such a good boy, aren't you?" I purr and then I lower my hand on Frank's ass harshly. Frank sucks in his breath and closes his eyes. "Y-yeah... Sir... Please..." he moans. I chuckle and smack him again, even harder this time. Frank pulls on his restraints again, and opens his mouth in pleasure. _Oh fuck he's so perfect..._

I keep going on like that. I smack Frank's ass harshly, calling him names, telling him what a slut he actually is. Frank whimpers, moans, pulls on his restraints and tells me he's my slut. I bite my lips harshly at that. "Yes. Yes indeed, you're _mine_. And only mine." I growl possesively. Frank curls his toes and his legs start to shake, and I know he's growing exhausted. I know he's about to give up the fight, and just surrender to me. Let me do whatever I want. " _Yours..._ " Frank chokes out and yelps as I smack him again. "Good little whore. And that's why I'm going to fuck you." I whisper seductively. Frank nods desperately. "Please Sir, please..." he moans and sobs in sexual frustration. _Fuck he's so close to subspace..._

I quickly grab some lube and Frank lowers his legs, resting his feet onto the matress. I crawl between his legs and stroke his thighs possesively. "So beautiful, Frankie. So pretty." I whisper and I coat my fingers in lube. Frank just whimpers and spreads his legs a little wider, so I can reach him better. I smile and then, without a warning, I push my first finger inside of him. Frank gasps in surprise and clenches his muscles around me. I grin because I know that that causes him more friction. I feel that Frank doesn't need that much preparation, so I quickly add my second and my third finger, and curl them against his prostrate. Frank cries out this time, and I can see a tear escape his eyes. I quickly scan his body to check other signals that could mean that I've gone too far, but when I see the way he presses his hips towards me, the way he tries to get any sort of satisfaction, I know that he's just overwhelmed, in a very good way.

"Are you ready for me, Frankie?" I breath out, no longer able to control myself. I need to fuck him. Right now. Frank nods and tries to look at me, but his eyes don't seem to focus, and that's when I know that I actually drove him into subspace. _Oh god..._ "Please Sir... I've been so good..." he whispers pleadingly and I nod. "Yes Frank, so good. So good for me." I whisper and I crawl on top of him. I hold his body close to mine, and then I slowly push in. I bite on my lips and let out a shaky breath. "U-uh... Frank... S-so good..." I moan and I tangle my fingers in his hair to have something to pull on. Frank whimpers beneath me and presses his hips up, taking me in deeper. I try to start out slow, but Frank begs me to go faster, so I just let go. I lose control and I groan loud as I start pounding into him. Frank gasps and cries out when I hit his prostrate again.

"Fuck... Frank... So goddamn tight..." I choke out and close my eyes. Frank hums a little. "Y-you're my first, Sir..." he whispers. I feel a wave of heat rushing through my veins and I let out a high-pitched moan. "Y-yeah? Fuck... H-how does it feel? Tell me how it feels." I groan out. Frank bites his lips and throws his head back. I tighten my grip on his hair and Frank pushes his hips up in the same rythym as me. "Feels so good, Sir. S-so perfect. Ungh..."

_I can't hold back that much longer... Fuck..._

I move one of my hands towards Frank's cock and start jerking him off as fast as I can. Frank bites on the skin in my neck, trying not to scream out. I hiss at the pain, but I let Frank do it. _Feels good. Holy..._ "B-bite me harder, I-" I moan and I push into him as rough as I can. Frank bites harder and I cry out. "Yes! Oh Gosh... C-come for me Frank, you better fucking come." I spit out. Frank sobs and throws his head back again. He arches his body, and bites his own lips harshly. And that's when he comes. I squeeze my eyes shut, and I feel Frank's muscles clench around me, and I can't help it.

"F-Frank! Fuck... _Fuck..._ " I breath out and that's when I come too. I press myself against his hips as hard as I can, and feel how the orgasm takes over my whole body. Frank trembles under me and presses his face against my chest. I try to catch my breath, and then I reach out for Frank's hands. I unbuckle the belt and as soon as Frank feels it, he throws his arms around me and presses himself tight against me. I wrap my arms around him and pet his hair and stroke his back.

"G-Gee..." Frank whispers and he tries to look at me. I smile. He's still deep in subspace. I kiss his forehead softly. "Shhh, Frank it's okay. I've got you." I comfort him. He nods and closes his eyes again. I pull myself out of him slowly. Frank whimpers and moves even closer. I smile and pull the blankets up and wrap them around us. "That's my sweet boy. You did so well baby. I'm so proud of you." I whisper. Frank lights up at the praise and nods. "Want to be your good boy..." he whispers back. I smile and kiss his cheeks. "You are baby. You are."

We stay like that for a little longer. I hold him close, stroke him, and tell him how much I love him, and Frank just listens to that and lets me take care of him. I smile happily. This is what I've always wanted. And now, it's here.


	10. Frank Admits That He Actually Wants More

**Frank**

I groan when I wake up, not ready to leave the darkness of my sleep yet. I try to pull the blankets up a little higher, but they're stuck. I frown and sleepily open my eyes. I gasp when I see Gerard, holding the blankets in a tight grip. Then I remember. _Everything._ Oh gosh... It happened. It really happened. I found out that Gerard loved me, and then he fucked me and- Wait. I'm not a virgin anymore! I grin and bite my lips. Oh it was so perfect...

Even though I tried to be quiet, Gerard wakes up at my movements. He flutters his eyes open and frowns for a moment, but when he realizes that he's in the same bed as me, he smiles and crawls closer towards me. "Hey there, little boy. Did you sleep well?" he asks me and kisses my forehead. I cuddle against him and nod. "Yeah... I can't even remember falling asleep..." I giggle. Gerard smiles and pets my hair. "Yes. You were far gone last night. It was beautiful." he whispers. I blush and look up at him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Frank you were absolutely perfect... But, you really were still a virgin?" he asks me then, making me blush harder as I nod. "Yeah. Actually I was. I kissed a few boys but it was never something special. With you however..." I whisper and kiss Gerard's cheek. He smiles and I rest my head against his chest.

"I'm glad to hear that Frank. So... What... Are we going to tell the others?" he asks me then. I shrug. "I don't know... I want to... But we can also just, you know, 'be together' and wait until someone asks?" I say, and Gerard nods. "Yeah. That sounds like a great plan! I will tell Lindsey though, because she already knows that I like you." Gerard says and I nod. "Yeah. That's fine with me... So. Uhm Gee? Just wondering. Do you have a lot of experience with being a Dom?"

Gerard tenses for just a little moment and then he nods. "Yes. Actually I do. I became interested in BDSM when I was sixteen, and when I was eightteen I went to a club for the first time. I didn't have a partner at that time, so I played with other single girls. And actually one time I played with a boy too. But that was just once and I still thought I was straight by then, so I didn't want to do it again. I've had two serious relationships. Lindsey was one of them. She is a sub too. And not just for the sexual parts of a relationship. She was my sub in daily life too..."

I bite my lips and look at Gerard. Ever since I started to read the fanfics, I tried to figure out what I would and wouldn't like. I figured that I'd like to be a sub in daily life too... "And... Gee did you like that?"

"Well, I did it more for her than for myself at first, but I started to like it after a while. But for Lindsey it was something she needed and for me it wasn't that necessary. I swallow and nod. "Okay..."

Gerard groans and forces me to look at him. "Frank? If we want to make this work, honesty is very important. Communication is one of the most important things in a BDSM relationship. So please, talk to me about your thoughts."

I close my eyes and blush. "I... I don't want to need something you won't enjoy giving me..." I whisper. Gerard kisses my forehead and rubs my back. "Tell me what it is that you want." I sigh and hate how he makes me say what he already knows, but I realize he does it to force me to be honest. "I want... I want to be a sub like Lindsey..."

"Then what are you worrying about?"

"That I dissappoint you..."

Gerard crawls on top of me and pins my hands above my head into the pillow. My face flushes and I curl my toes. _Fuck..._

"Frank. You're _not_ dissappointing me. Not at all. As I said. It's not necessary for me, but I do enjoy it. I promise." he says and then he lowers his lips to my ear. My breath hitches as he pushes his lips against my sensitive skin. "Oh I am going to have so much fun with you..." he purrs. Then he lets go of me and crawls out of the bed. I whine in protest and Gerard raises an eyebrow to me. "Were you protesting, sweetheart? I hope you weren't. I don't want to punish you just yet." he grins, and gestures me to get out of the bed too. I do so and Gerard opens my closet to pick clothes for me. I blush again.

"Thank you Sir." I mumble as he hands me the clothes. I'm trying to act normal, but I know that I'm close to give up control to Gerard already. Not in a sexual way though. Gerard smiles as he watches my inner battle and he points at my clothes.

"Come on baby, even though I like to see you naked, I bet it's better to have breakfast with your clothes on. Especially my brother would appreciate that." Gerard smirks and I giggle at the idea of Mikey seeing someone naked.

When I have my clothes on, Gerard walks towards me and takes one of my hands. "I don't know if you want to, or if this is too quick, but since we're famous I can't let you wear a collar in public, but I do have this. And if you want it, I'd love you to wear it." he says and then shows me a bracelet. I pick it up hesitantly and look at it. It's a plain leather wristband, nothing very special. A lot of men wear these kinds of wristbands. But on the inside there are a few words. _Property of Gerard Way._ I look up at Gerard and try to hide my all too obvious excitement. "You really want me to wear this?" I ask him, and Gerard nods. "But only if you want to."

"Gerard? I'd love to wear this." I say with a soft smile and I hand the bracelet over to him and hold out my arm. Gerard's face lights up and he kisses my forehead, before he closes the bracelet around my wrist. People will only see a nice bracelet. Gerard and I will know that it's much more than that. Until now, I've never realized how much I like it to be owned.

Gerard smiles as he lets me get used to this a little, and then he pets my hair once and takes my hand.

"Want breakfast?"

"Hell yes!"


	11. Gerard's A Fucking Smartass

**Frank**

I can't help but look at my wrist all day. I touch the bracelet. Let my fingers trail over the smooth surface. I tense the muscles of my arm, just to feel the bracelet tightening around my wrist. With every movement I make, it's there. With every movement I feel it. And everytime I feel it I see images of Gerard's face last night again, looking at me possesively. Hungrily. Full of love...

I know that Gerard notices my new little obsession with the bracelet, but I don't even bother to hide it. I do however try to hide it when Ray and Mikey are around, but I fail.

_Property of Gerard Way_

I remember when we just stepped into the bus and Mikey caught me staring at it again. He frowned and pointed at it. "Do you have a secret lover or something? You're looking at it as if the girl who gave it to you is a fucking Godess or something." Mikey said, and I couldn't help the blush that spread across my cheeks. Mikey chuckled. "Ah. I see. Who is she?" I didn't answer that question and tried to start a new subject. Mikey of course noticed that, but he sighed and went along with it.

Ray saw me staring at the bracelet too, but he just smiled and said nothing about it. Ray is too polite for that. He just waits until I am ready to tell him, like he always does, and that's why I love him so much.

Luckily they both haven't noticed the constant flirting between Gerard and me. Which is weird because it's not like we're trying to hide that. But I know that they'll find out one day, and until that day, I won't mind keeping it between Gerard and myself.

Suddenly my phone buzzes and I frown as I take it out of my pocket. I giggle when I see that Gerard sent me a message. I open it. _Enjoying the bracelet, my little boy?_ I blush and bite my lips at the nickname. I love it so much when he calls me that. It makes me feel safe. It makes me feel like I belong. I open a new text message and start typing my reply. _Yes Sir, it makes me feel so good_

I watch Gerard's face as he reads my reply, and I can see his cheeks turning a little red too. He smiles at me and mouths 'I love you' to me. I blush even harder and mouth the same thing back. Gerard smiles and fuck I want to sit between his legs and let him pet my hair... But that's not possible... We're in the tourbus again and Mikey and Ray are here too, and even though they're watching a movie, and don't notice our flirting, sitting between Gerard's legs would be too obvious.  
Fortunately we have another hotel night in two days, but two days seem so far away from now... I groan and suddenly I feel very bad for Lindsey. She must have been through this so many times... How the fuck did she survive? I know that until last night, I've never even had a vanilla relationship, but ever since I've slept with Gerard, it feels like I've been like this my entire life. I again open a new text message. _Gerard? Can't we figure something out because I feel so subby but we can't in here..._ And then I send it. Gerard reads it immediately, and then he gives me a sympathetic smile, before he messages me back.

 _I know sweetheart. I know. I'll figure something out, I promise._ I nod at him and sigh, and then I start playing with my bracelet again. Oh how I hope Gerard will figure something out soon... I can see Gerard thinking, so I decide not to disturb him anymore, and I move over to the couch to join Ray and Mikey with their movie. I have no idea what it is, but it's not that I can concentrate anyway.

Then suddenly Gerard is there too, and he manages to sit on the couch too, shoving Mikey off. Mikey stands up angrily and tries to push Gerard away. "Come on Gee, whatever it is, this is not funny! I sat there first!" Mikey snaps, but Gerard grins and shrugs. "I'm not going anywhere." he says and then he winks at me. At first I don't get it, but then out of nowhere I understand what Gerard is doing. I try to hide my smile as I crawl on Gerard's lap. "Take that, asshole." I chuckle to Gerard and point at my place. "There you go Mikey." I say then. Mikey smiles at me gratefully and sits down. Within a few seconds, I feel Gerard's hand on my hip and he holds me possesively. _Yes..._

After a few minutes Gerard closes his fingers around the bracelet and squeezes. It takes me a lot to keep myself from squeeking in shock, but somehow I manage. "Frankie? Could you get me some water please?" he asks me. I immediately nod and want to stand up, as Mikey holds me back and points at Gerard. "Let him do it himself." Mikey grins. I look at Gerard and bite my lips as he gives me a look that says that I should obey.

"No Mikey it's fine. I'll get this lazy fucker some water." I say with a grin, while I try to hide the fact how happy I am that I can do something for Gerard. _Damn..._ I am more submissive than I ever thought... Mikey shrugs. "Fine." I smile and quickly walk towards the little kitchen to get water for Gerard. When I come back I hand it to him and crawl on his lap again. Gerard smiles, and after a few sips of water, he leans it to whisper at me.

"Such a good boy."


	12. So. You Two Are Together?

**Frank**

"So. You two are together?" Mikey suddenly says during breakfast, and watches us. I nearly choke on my coffee and Gerard actually does. He coughs a few times and I give him a worried look as he places his mug back on the table. He manages to choke out a "What?" to Mikey, making the younger Way grin. I blush and try to think of something to say to him, but Mikey interrupts my thoughts when he giggles. "Oh don't even try to say it isn't true, your facial expressions are obvious enough." he laughs, to which Ray hits Mikey's arm playfully. "Don't be so mean to them, Mikey."

I look down and nervously sip on my coffee again. What will they think? Gerard takes my hand and rubs his thumb over my skin softly, trying to calm me down. It works. "Yeah. Actually we are." Mikey looks at us and smiles happily. "Great. I can't believe it finally happened." he chuckles then. Gerard and I look at him in confusion. Mikey laughs at our probably dumb faces and points at me.

"What? Come on! You've been so obvious for years Frank! I can't believe that Gerard finally found out he's not straight and that he figured out about your crush." he smirks at me, and then he turns to Gerard. "So... How did you find out?"

Gerard turns red immediately, and I wouldn't be surprised if the same just happened to me. "Well... Uh... It's rather awkward." he stutters. Mikey gets even more curious now and leans in a little. "Ahhh, come on. Tell me." Gerard looks and me for help, and I just shrug. I have no idea what to say. It's as if my thoughts get cut of the moment I get them. So I nod, and Gerard nods back and knows that I meant that he could say whatever he wants to his brother.

"Well... Actually I've been writing Frerard fanfics for a while now-" Gerard starts but Mikey cuts him off. "You write fanfiction? Oh my..." he laughs. Gerard and I blush again. "-and Frank found them on my laptop last night, and he recognized them." Gerard continues and then he and Mikey look at me, wanting me to finish the story. I take a deep breath and swallow, and try to concentrate on the feeling of Gerard's thumb still rubbing my skin. "I... recognized them because I've been, you know, reading fanfics for a while now." I finish. Mikey looks stunned for a few seconds, and then he bursts out into laughter and I hear Ray chuckle as well. I blush and try to distract myself by sipping on my coffee. Mikey notices and muffles his laughter. "Frank, hey, don't worry about it. I love the idea of you two together." he smiles and the smile turns into a smirk when he watches my bracelet. Fuck. He probably knows what it is now.

"Gee... Frankie... I know what that bracelet means. Know that I'm okay with it if you feel the need to, you know... Act like it. As long as you don't do anything sexual in front of me." Mikey smiles. I blush. Again. "So... y-you mean..." I stutter. Mikey chuckles and nods. "That Gerard can feed you, pet you, hold you, whatever he wants. It's cute." Mikey finishes, knowing what I was trying to ask. I look at Ray, and he immediately agrees with Mikey. "I know couple who are just like the two of you, and I completely agree with Mikey that it's cute."

Gerard looks at me for a while and then he smiles, and I give him a hesitant smile back. Then I look at Mikey and Ray and sigh. "Thanks... For, you know. The support. Not being freaked out... I mean, Gerard and I've been together for one full day now." I sat to them. Mikey shrugs. "So? I know that your feelings for each aren't exactly that new, and I've known the both of you for so long now. I think the two of you will work out perfectly."

I smile and nod to him. I think he's right. I've always thought so, but until I found the fanfics on Gee's laptop, I never had the guts to admit it. But I am so happy that we're together now.


	13. Hotel Night (part 1)

**Frank**

I groan as I wake up. I don't want to wake up. I want to drown in the black warmth that's called sleep. But then I notice that someone has his arms wrapped around me. _Gerard_. I open my eyes and look right into his face and I can't help but smile. All those years I've been wanting to wake up and see his face. Now it's finally true. He presses his lips on my forehead softly. "Hey, you should wake up. We're almost at the hotel."

I immediately sit up.

"Really?" I say and Gerard nods and tries not to burst out in laughter. I blush at my maybe a little too happy reaction. Gerard has some ideas for our hotel night, and he already told me a few of them. He sits up as well and takes my hand. "Don't be ashamed, okay? I am really happy to see that you want all of this as much as I do." he says and I let out my breath in relief. "Sorry... I'm just so new in all of this and I feel like I'm doing everything wrong." I whisper and bow my head. Gerard wraps his arms around me and pulls me onto his lap.

"Hey... You're not doing _anything_ wrong. I promise. Of course I see in everything you do, that this is new and scary to you. But you're always yourself. You're honest, smart, and so submissive. I like that everything you do is true, and that's _because_ you're new. You don't know what is usual, so everything you do truly comes from your heart. I love you Frank, and please don't worry too much." Gerard whispers, and with every single word I feel more and more happy. I rest my head against his chest and smile. "Thank you... I... I guess you're right about that. I love you too, Gerard."

He smiles and kisses my forehead again, and then he pushes me off of his lap and stands up. "Pack your bags baby. I'll get mine ready too. I'll see you in a few."

Thirty minutes later, Gerard and I are settled in our room. I am slightly nervous for tonight, but I really look forward to it. But first we have to go to the little restaurant and have dinner. It's been a while since I had lunch and I'm fucking hungry right now. "Gerard? Are you ready to go downstairs?" I ask him and he frowns at me.

"Downstairs?"

"Yeah. I'd like to eat."

The grin that appears on Gerard's face makes me swallow. "Oh but we're going to eat right here. I already ordered. It should be here in a few." he smiles at me and gestures me to walk over to him, which I do. "You're so new at all of this, and that's why I'd like to try things so we can find out what you do and what you don't like. Both sexual things and non-sexual things. Right now, we're going to try one of the non-sexual things a lot of submissives enjoy when they're in this kind of a relationship." Gerard whispers to me and rubs his hands gently over my back. I nod and look up at him. "What are you going to-"

"Roomservice!" _Knock knock knock._ I groan. Gerard smiles to me. "Can you kneel down in front of that chair, sweetheart? I'll get the food."

"Yes Sir." I say and with one last kiss of Gerard, I walk over to the chair and kneel. I can hear Gerard talk to the man and I try to follow the conversation, but my thoughts drift in a completely different direction and I bite my lips. I have no idea what's coming and that's making me nervous. I mean what if-

"Frank?" I get pulled out of my thoughts and make a startled noise. Gerard chuckles and sits down on the chair. "If there's something bothering you, your knees start to hurt or you just really want to stop, you can say so and we'll stop. Okay?" he says and starts petting my hair. I quickly shift a little so I sit closer to him and nod. "Yes Sir."

"Good boy." he purrs and I blush at that. His approval means so much to me. I just really want to please him, and when I do it makes me feel so happy.

Gerard has already put the food down on the table next to him. It smells delicious. He picks up a fork and a knife and starts eating. I feel a little jealous and look away. This is not exactly fun. Watching him eat while I'm hungry. I don't have to see that. I'll just wait for my turn. I- "Frankie?"

I sigh and look back at him, and I frown when I see Gerard holding the fork in front of me. He wants to feed me? Well okay then... I think? I take a deep breath and then I lean forward to reach the fork. I slowly eat the food off of it and swallow. The approving smile on Gerard's face makes my cheeks a fiery red. As he holds the fork in front of me again, I'm less hesitant and I immediately eat what he picked for me. That's when I realize why so many submissives like this. It makes the D/s dynamics so obvious. But it's sweet and caring at the same time. It's perfect. Gerard smiles and strokes my hair again. "That's it, Frank. I'm proud of you. You understand things so quickly, you're so smart. My sweet little boy." he purrs and I blush even harder. "T-Thank you Sir." I stutter and Gerard smiles. "Want more?" he asks me and I nod, to which Gerard feeds me again. It continues like that until both our plates are empty. I've never felt more satisfied in my entire life. This is want I want. I want to be Gerard's sub forever.


	14. Hotel Night (part 2)

**Frank**

I sit on my knees in front of Gerard, who sits on the edge of the bed. He pets my hair reassuringly, but it isn't quite necessary. The feeding brought me in a very submissive mindset and therefore I'm not scared at all. I trust Gerard. Of course I feel slightly nervous, but in the most positive way possible.

"Open your eyes, baby," Gerard whispers, and I obey. I look up at him and gasp. My eyes widen and I don't know what is going on. Well I do. But why? "S-Sir, I..." I stutter as I stare at the collar in his hands. Gerard smiles at me. "I know you wear the bracelet already, but a collar is different. More _real_. I know you can only wear it temporary, but I want you to see this as your permanent collar. I want you to be mine, Frank. _My_ little sub. Only if you agree of course, but even though we haven't been together that long, and even though you're still new to all of this, it feels so right to me. So... Frank, would you like to wear this?" Gerard asks me, and I find myself nodding even before I properly processed everything he said. Because he's right. Everything feels as if it's meant to be when I'm with him. I want to be his. I want to be completely owned.

I crawl a little closer and rest my forehead on Gerard's upper leg as he buckles the collar around my neck. I swallow when I feel it closing around my neck. It feels heavy. Perfect. It truly makes me feel like I belong. I look up at Gerard and let out a satisfied sigh.

"You like it?"

"I do. I really do." I swallow and blush when I feel the collar as I do that. Every time I swallow, I'll feel it. Every single time I swallow, I'll be reminded of Gerard. Of my submission to him.

Gerard suddenly smirks, pulling me out of my thoughts and causing me to wonder why. "Have you noticed the tag?" I narrow my eyes in suspicion and shake my head. Gerard laughs. "It says: Gerard's slut. Since you like it way too much when I call you that, and this collar won't leave the bedroom, I thought it'd fit."

A blush makes it's way to my cheeks and I look to the floor. "It... It does fit Sir." My breath slightly hitches in anticipation. He's right. I love it when he calls me his slut. I want to be a slut for him.

Gerard stands up and looks down at me, making me feel so small. He caresses my cheek with his thumb, before his hands work on his belt to unbuckle it. Then he pulls the zipper down and I shiver at the sound. _Yes_ _..._ I look up at him hungrily and I see the same expression on Gerard's face. Hunger. Lust. Possessiveness.

"Suck me." he orders me as soon as he pulled down his underwear. I feel my lips tingle in anticipation when I see his erection. I want him in my mouth, _so_ _so_ _bad_ _._ I reach out for his cock, but Gerard snacks my hands away. "Your mouth only." I nod and move a little bit forward. I open my mouth and lick on the shaft teasingly. Gerard growls and tangles his hands in my hear. I gasp when the burning pain spreads across my head and feel my cock jump. _Fuck_ _fuck_ _fuck_ _so_ _goo_ d. I quickly take him in my mouth, and start bobbing my head up and down, sucking harshly every time I pull back.

Suddenly Gerard yanks on my hair and he pulls me off if him. He looks at me and he tightens his grip. "Is that all you can give me, whore? You're worthless. Can't you do better?"

 _I_ _see_ _my_ _dad_ _walk_ _over_ _to_ _me_ _,_ _and_ _the_ _angry_ _look_ _on_ _his_ _face_ _scares_ _me_ _._ _I_ _know_ _what's_ _coming_ _._ _They_ _tell_ _me_ _every_ _fucking_ _time_ _. "_ _You're_ _such_ _a_ _fuck_ _up_ _,_ _Frank_ _._ _Is_ _there_ _nothing_ _you_ _can_ _do_ _?_ _Are_ _you_ _that_ _worthless_ _?"_

 _"_ _Dad_ _?_ _I-I'm_ _sorry_ _..."_ _I_ _stutter_ _and_ _take_ _a_ _step_ _back_ _. In_ _vain_ _. "_ _You're_ _such_ _a_ _worthless_ _piece_ _of_ _shit_ _._ _Why_ _can_ _'t_ _you_ _do_ _anything_ _right_ _?"_

I gasp and start to panic. No. _I'm_ _so_ _sorry_ _..._ "S-Sir I didn't mean to... I..." I choke out, not even able to see the worried expression on Gerard's face. "Baby? Shh... What's wrong?"

"I swear... I really didn't... I..." I stutter. I scramble to my feet. Gerard tries to stop me, but I'm quicker and run out of the hotel room. _I'm_ _such_ _a_ _worthless_ _little_ _piece_ _of_ _shit_ _._ _My_ _dad_ _was_ _right_ _._ _Gerard_ _is_ _right_ _._ _There's_ _not_ _one_ _thing_ _I_ _don't_ _fuck_ _up_ _..._


	15. Feels Like War

**Gerard**

_Fuck_ _..._

_Fuck_ _I_ _fucked_ _up_ _so_ _fucking_ _bad_ _..._

I sigh and stare at the door. The door where Frankie just ran through to get away from me. I bite my lips harshly and replay the scene in my head. Everything was okay. Everything was fine. But suddenly Frank started screaming at me and he ran off. What on earth did I do wrong? I really don't know...

I stand up and pull my pants back up and quickly pull on a T-shirt. I walk out of the room and knock on the door next to mine. "Yeah?"

"M-Mikey?" I stutter out. I angrily wipe away my upcoming tears. _I_ _fucked_ _up_ _,_ _don't_ _whine_ _you_ _asshole_ _._ The door swings open and Mikey frowns when he sees me. "Gee? What's wrong? Aren't you supposed to be fucking Frank?" I shake my head and just walk into the room. Ray looks up at me and frowns, but he doesn't say anything. I sit down on what I presume is Mikey's bed, and sigh again.

"Everything went fine, Mikey. He was so submissive and I fed him and I collared him, and he loved every single moment. But then we started making out, and I have no idea what went wrong but suddenly he pushed me off of him and he started screaming at me and he ran off..."

Mikey, who knows a lot about the BDSM lifestyle through what I've told him, frowns and shakes his head. "I... I don't know, Gee. Did you say something right before it happened? I mean you've told me once that there are subs who get like, triggered? When you say a certain thing." Mikey says, and I think about it really hard. What did he do? What did I say? Then suddenly I feel the blood drain from my face. I _did_ trigger him.

"I did say something about that he didn't try hard enough? Oh _fuck_ _..._ He's told me about his experiences with his parents. He never did good enough. They used to tell him that every single day... Of course I triggered him... Goddamn I'm so stupid... Now he's maybe going to fall in subdrop as well and..." I stutter out. Mikey cuts me off. "Stop it. You have to find him and talk to him. We'll help you find him, right Ray?"

Ray nods. "Of course. Although I think he may be hiding in the tour bus." I nod to that. "Yeah. That seems likely. I'll check it out. If he's not over there I'll call you." I say then, and Mikey and Ray nod. "Good luck, Gerard. Just remember that everything will be alright. I promise." Mikey says and gives me an encouraging smile. "Thank you..." I smile back, and make my way to the tour bus.

"Frankie? Frankie are you here?" I say when I walk in. _No_ _answer_ _._ But I do hear the sobs coming from the living room, so I slowly make my way there. "Frankie? I am so, so sorry..." I whisper softly. Frank immediately looks up and shakes his head frantically. "No. You didn't do anything wrong... I'm just a fuck up..." Frank chokes out. I bite my lips as I hear him say that. I sit down next to him on the couch and pull him close. "You're not a fuck up, baby. I triggered you. And I'm sorry." I whisper and I stroke his hair. Frank shakes his head again. "Gerard this is not your fault I shouldn't have reacted like that... It was stupid. I mean we had a perfect night and then I ruined it like this... And... And..."

"Shhhh baby... Hey. Listen to me. It's not your fault, okay? You're not the only sub who gets triggered by certain words or phrases." I explain to him, remembering that this is all so new to him. "Really?" I nod to him. "Really. And now we know what triggers you, so I know what I shouldn't say to you. It'll be fine. Just come back with me to our room okay, we can cuddle there for a while." I say then. Frank nods and smiles faintly. "I love you..."

"I love you too, Frankie. Come." I say and then carry him back to our hotel room. I lay Frank down in the bed and pull the covers over his body, before I lock the door and quickly message Mikey and Ray to let them know everything is alright. Then I lay down next to Frank and pull him against me. Frank giggles and I can't help but smile at that. He's just so adorable. "I'm so tired Sir..." he whispers and yawns. I kiss his forehead and nod. "Then go to sleep baby." I whisper in a soft voice. Frank buries his head against my chest and closes his eyes. "Goodnight, Frankie."

"Goodnight, Sir."

A few minutes later, Frank is asleep. I watch his face and sigh. _Maybe_ _I_ _didn't_ _fuck_ _up_ _that_ _bad_ _after_ _all_ _._ I know Frank and I have to talk this through. But we have plenty of time to do so. First he needs to get a little more comfortable with everything. Maybe... Maybe I should introduce him to other subs. Let him talk with them. It might help him realize that he's by far not the only one who faces these problems. And he could learn more. Things only subs really understand. Yes. Yes that's a great idea. As soon as our tour is over, I'll introduce him to the Black Shadow's subs. They are wonderful submissives and they love helping the newbies out.

I watch Frank again and smile. _We'll_ _be_ _alright_ _._


	16. Black Shadows

**Fran** **k**

_Oh_ _gosh_ _..._

I stand in front of the club and swallow. I know why we're doing this, and I _wan_ t to do this. But I can't get rid of the nervous feeling in my stomach. Gerard squeezes my hand softly. "Come, baby. It'll be okay." he says with a smile. I nod to him and raise my free hand to touch the collar around my neck. Gerard and I were both very happy to have an occasion where I can wear my collar in public without getting judged. The collar makes me feel very safe as well. Gerard explained to me that people will know that I belong to him, and therefore they won't touch me without Gerard's permission and he told me that he won't give anyone permission while I'm still so new.

"Okay. I'm ready." I say and take a deep breath. Gerard smiles to me again and then we walk into the club. I already signed the papers to become a club member, so we can walk in right away. A security guard nods to Gerard and then smiles at me. "Have a nice evening, subbie. Don't worry, Gerard will take good care of you." he says to me. I start to blush and don't really know what to say. _Subbie_ _?_

"Thanks, Rian." Gerard chuckles and he gestures me to walk further inside. I bite my lips and swallow again. _I_ _can_ _do_ _this_ _..._ I step inside and I'm immediately overwhelmed by the loud music, the smell of leather and sex, and all the equipment. It doesn't look like a dirty strip club or something though. Everything is very luxerous and in a perfect state. I relax a little. This is not what I expected and it's a lot better this way.

"That," Gerard says as he points at the bartender, "is Master Gabe. I want to introduce you to his sub, William, who's right there." he says and points at a tall, incredibly handsome young man on the dancefloor. Gerard chuckles as he sees me staring at the guy. "Yeah, I know. William is gorgeous. Almost every Dom in here wanted him, but Billy saw no one but Gabe. They've been together for a long time now. I thought you might recognize them because they're in bands as well, but nevermind."

"That's amazing." is all I can say. I love Gerard and I wouldn't want anyone but him but dammit, William _i_ s gorgeous. Gerard interrupts my thoughts. "That is Pete. But you know him already. You know, Fall Out Boy. Patrick is his Dom in daily life but they do switch quite often in sexual scenes." Gerard explains to me, and it makes sense. If I would've guessed how their relationship would work, I would've said something like that. I look up at Gerard. "How come there are so many band members in here?"

"Well, a lot of us want to do this, but we're afraid to get recognized. So we all try to go to the same club and the other club members who are not in a band, swore not to tell anyone." He explains to me and I nod. "Ah okay. So..." I stop talking when I see how a couple, man and woman, dominate one guy together. "T-Threesomes?"

"Not very rare. Many people like to play with more than just one person. Sometimes it's just sexual, and sometimes there are ménage couples who even live together." Gerard explains to me. I swallow and nod. Damn. I really have to get used to a lot... Not that I have anything against a threesome, but it's just not something I'd expect to see. And now it seems it's not even that weird in here.

"Come, let's go to William first. I think he'll be more than happy to help you out. Don't be ashamed to ask him something, or say you don't understand something. He won't laugh at you, he's a wonderful guy." Gerard says and I nod. He smiles and takes my hand, and we walk over to the dancefloor. Gerard waves to William, and when he spots him, he smiles and immediately walks over to us. "Master Gee! How good to see you again! It's been a long time! How's Lyn... Where is Lyn-Z?"

Gerard blushes. "I broke things off with her. I fell in love with someone else, and I couldn't lie to her. She took it well, and we're on good terms. This is my new sub, but you know my band so you might've seen him before. This is Frank." Gerard introduces me. I watch William and blush. I hope he doesn't judge me for the fact that Gerard doesn't love Lyn-Z anymore. And, he is so much taller than me. I feel so small from down here. I look down and swallow. I expect William to snap at me and walk away, but he places a hand on my shoulder. "Welcome to the Black Shadows, Frank."

I look up again and watch his face. His expression is so gentle that I sigh and feel my body relax. "Hello. Nice to meet you."

Gerard rubs my back reassuringly and turns to William. "Frank is extremely new in the lifestyle, and I figured it'd be good for him to have others subs to talk and ask questions to. I'd love it if you could show him around and answer his questions." he says to the tall sub. William immediately nods. "Of course! Come with me, Frank, I'll show you around."

I look at Gerard once more, and when he gives me an encouraging smile, I smile back and follow William.


	17. Gerard Loves Frank (and tells him he's a good boy)

**Gerard**

I smile lovingly at Frank as I help him get into the passenger seat of my car. He mumbles a thank you and closes his eyes again. He is just too cute. Especially when he's almost asleep. Like now. The visit at the Black Shadows must have been rather tiring for him. Not that I expected it to be any different. Loud music, flashing lights, people having sex, all those new impressions... If Frank wasn't tired by now, I'd wonder if he'd ever grow tired.

I think the visit was a good idea. Frank has so many questions, and as I Dom I can't answer them all. William, fortunately, was able to tell Frank all the smaller boy wanted to know. At the end of the evening, I sat down with Frank to watch a scene, but to be honest, we were more focused on each other than the scene itself. Frank knelt down at my feet and rested his head happily on my legs. It felt amazing. Lyn-Z had been a submissive as well, but not full time. Like, she liked it to be submissive in daily life as well, but not all the time. Frank however, loves it to be submissive all the time. It's what he needs. So when he rested his head in my lap, I couldn't help but stare at him, and smile. He was beautiful like this. All I've ever wanted.

I sit down on the driver's seat and I can't help but smile again. Frank is clearly asleep, his head tilted to the side and his mouth slightly open. I fucking love him. I do. _I love him..._  I take a deep breath at the realisation. _I love Frank._  I bite my lips and grin. My life couldn't be any better at this moment. I start the car and drive off, while I keep thinking about it. I've been wanting this for a long time now, and here it is. My dreams have come true. I have Frank. He's mine. And I've always wanted a full time submissive. The sweet boy is. He truly is.

"Gee?" I suddenly hear from besides me. I look at Frank and chuckle. "Did you sleep well?" I ask him and he nods, trying to open his eyes. "Yeah... The movements of the car woke me up I think." he says and then yawns a little. "Yeah, well, we're almost at your place, so you can sleep there." I smile. I'm so glad we have a few weeks off before our tour continues. It gives Frank and me more time to get used to all this together. We decided to stay at his place, so Lyn-Z didn't have to leave or something. I have an appointment with her tomorrow. Frank is coming as well, and Bandit will be there too. _My sweet little girl... Gosh I miss her..._  I am so glad Lyn-Z seems to take everything so well. She deserves someone better than me. And she'll find that man. I'm sure of it.

"Hmmm, can we cuddle a little before I go to sleep?" Frank smiles and I chuckle at the mischievous look in his eyes. "Cuddle, uh?" 

"Yes." he says and giggles a little. "Those scenes at the Black Shadows made me a little horny, and even though I want to sleep, there are other things I want to do first." he grins. I roll my eyes at him and laugh. "Sounds like a plan, Frankie. I have a few things in mind you might enjoy..." I say. Frank's eyes go wide. "What?"

"Surprise." I answer him. He pouts. "No, come on, please tell me, I want to know." he begs. I glance at him. "You want?" I say, and Frank blushes immediately. "Sorry Sir, I mean, I would like to know if that's okay with you..." I smile. "That's a good boy...-" I whisper, making Frank blush even more, "-but no. It's a surprise." Frank looks at me and bites his lips. I can see he wants to say something back, but he holds himself back from it and I smile. "So proud of you, sweetheart. You are so good for me." I whisper as I park the car in front of Frank's house. I can see in his eyes how much he wants to be good. _Fuck..._  I want him. I want him so bad. And I'll get him.

"Go to your bedroom, strip and lay down on your stomach. By the time I arrive I expect you to be ready for me."

"Y-yes Sir." Frank stutters, and quickly steps out of the car. I grin. _Mine._


	18. It Hurts Like Hell, But I Think I Like It Sir

**Frank**

I swallow as I lay down on my bed. Naked. I shiver a little, though I don't know whether it's from the cold, or the fact that Gerard will be here any moment. And that he'll do things to me... I have no idea what he has in mind, but I want it anyways. I want him. I need him. And the domination. _Fuck_ _that_ _always_ _makes_ _me_ _feel_ _so_ _good_ _._ I've always felt a little... off. But now I know it's because off the submissive part of me. I need the guidance. The rules. The attention. It helps me to think clear. To feel satisfied and happy. And above all, I want to be a good boy. I love it when I see the hints of appreciation on Gerard's face. I love it when he praises me. It makes me feel so proud.

"Well... Look what I found." I hear, and I immediately forget about every single thing I was thinking off. I close my eyes and bite my lips. I know my fingers are trembling a little. _Fuck_ _._ I am so, so fucking horny. My breath hitches in anticipation and Gerard chuckles as he hears that. "Someone is aroused." I blush at those words and press my face a little into the mattress and moan.

Then, out of nowhere, there's a harsh smack on my ass and I whimper. "Ou-ouch...?" Gerard walks closer towards me and caresses the spot. "How does it feel?" I bite my lips for a second. "It hurts... And tingles..." I whisper. Gerard places a kiss on my shoulder and pets my hair. "Yeah, but, how does it make _you_ feel? You have time to think it over, so don't answer me right away, but think about it." Gerard whispers. "Thank you, Sir."

I think about it. It hurts. So, so bad. But... It does feel... good? "Could you... Do that again, Sir? I'm not sure yet." I whisper then. Gerard makes a noise of approval, and then there's another smack. On the exact same spot. I hiss and clench my fingers. Then the tingling starts, and oh _yes_ _._ That feels wonderful. My cock twitches and I have to bite back a loud moan. "I... I think I like it, Sir." I breathe out. Gerard chuckles. "That's what I thought. My sweet, pretty boy." And he smacks me again. I gasp and arch my back. I blush heavily at Gerard's compliment and feel myself sliding into subspace already. I want to surrender. To express my submission to Gerard. It just feels so fucking good.

"Hmmm... Just look at you, Frankie. You're enjoying this far too much." Gerard whispers as he smacks me again. I know it's not his hand, but I have no idea what it could be. "Aren't you?" I quickly nod. "Yes Sir, I really am enjoying this." Gerard chuckles again and crawls on top of me. His weight on my lower back makes me feel trapped, and that is something I also really enjoy. Suddenly his warm, soft lips touch my ear and I moan. "I'm going to hurt you, Frankie. You can always use your safeword, but I promise you this will be worth it." he slowly whispers. His breath tickles and I bite my lips in arousal. Gerard smiles and kisses my neck, sending shivers down my spine. His lips are so perfect. _Oh my fucking God..._

"P-please Sir..." I manage to get out. Gerard hums a little and then pulls away from me and gets off of me. Something cold touches my skin and I groan. "Turn around, Frank." Gerard orders me, and I do as he says. Finally I see him. I take a shaky breath. He is so hot. His jeans are so tight and the outline of his cock is more than visible. Due to the fact that he wears his favourite black tank top, I can see a lot of bare skin. And there is a fucking riding crop in his hands. He swings it over his shoulder and grins. "You like what you see?" I simply nod, not knowing what to say. Gerard bite his lips and then lowers the riding crop on my skin. I hiss as the small piece of leather hits the inside of my thighs. _God that hurts..._ "Uhhh..." I groan out and throw my head back. "You know what I think Frankie?" he says seductively and hits me again. I clench my thighs together in pain and arousal and shake my head. "N-no..." _Holy shit..._ I don't know why, but I love it. I love the sting, the burn, everything. I'm so into this. I want him to hurt me.

"I think you're a little masochist. Most submissives do enjoy a little bit of pain, but when it gets more painful they'll see it as punishment. You, however, love this. The harder I hit you, the more you want. Am I right?"

And with that, he raises the riding crop, waits a couple of seconds, and then brings it down faster than before. I yell out in pain and squeeze my eyes shut. For a moment I can't feel anything but the raging pain in my thighs. "Fuck!" I pant and let out a frustrated sob. But after a few seconds, my skin starts to burn and tingle, and a wonderful feeling takes over. My cock is aching. I need release... But I won't get it this soon, I know that. "Please..." I beg Gerard softly. Gerard smiles and trails the riding crop over my chest. "You're so pretty like this Frank. So beautiful. All torn apart." he tells me, his voice hoarse and low. I know he wants me as well. He throws the riding crop onto the floor, undresses himself and straddles my hips.

"My pretty boy." he whispers and lowers himself to kiss me. As soon as his lips touch mine, I'm gone. I'm his. All his. My mind is so hazy, and all I feel, hear and smell, is Gerard. Nothing else matters at this moment. "I need you... Please... Please Sir I need you so bad." I beg him desperately, bucking my hips up a little against his. He moans and grinds his hips down on mine. I gasp and cling onto his shoulders, afraid to lose my last bit of self control. Gerard moves his lips against my neck. "Let it go, sweetheart. I've got you. I'll take care of you."

I take a deep breath. "I-I can't..." I whisper. Gerard grinds his hips down again and I gasp at the sudden pleasure. _Fucking hell..._ Then he curls his fingers around the base of my cock and squeezes a little, before he starts pumping his hand up and down. I cry out and arch my back, it's too much. Too intense. "That's it, Frank... Surrender to me... Good boy..." He pants and moves his hand faster and faster. And then I lose it. I cry out Gerard's name and come. My whole body is on fire as I release. Gerard kisses me through it, but I barely notice it. Everything is on fire. All I feel is pleaure. I take deep, shaky breaths and tremble.

"I love you, Frank..." Gerard whispers then. "My beautiful boy..." I bite my lips and pull Gerard close. "I... I l-love you too..." I stutter out as I'm trying to catch my breath. _He loves me._ I open my eyes and stare at Gerard. He smiles at me and kisses my forehead softly. I feel how special this moment is. We're so close...

"I want to fuck you..." he whispers then. I smile at him. "Please." Gerard caresses my cheek and then leans aside to get the lube. I'm still trying to catch my breath. Gerard crawls between my thighs and opens the bottle of lube. He slowly coats his fingers and puts the bottle aside. "Ready sweetheart?" he asks me then. I nod. "I am."

"Good." and with that he slowly pushes one finger inside of me. I gasp. It still feels strange, I mean, this is only my second time. But even though it's strange, it feels so fucking good. I push back against his finger and Gerard chuckles a little. "Hmmm, you like this, don't you?" he asks me and I nod. "M-more..."

"Like this?" he whispers and adds another two fingers. I sob at the feeling it gives me. It slightly burns and it's just so overwhelming and I just _need_ _._ "Gerard... Sir... I... Please fuck me." I stutter out. In know I'm not stretched enough, but I honestly don't care at all. I need him inside of me. Now. I need to feel him. Gerard pulls out and I groan at the loss. Then he takes the lube again, coats his cock and licks his lips. He pushes my legs aside, digs his nails into my thighs and I gasp. Then he pushes in, slowly. It stings and tears fill my eyes, but I don't think I've ever felt this good. Gerard groans and pushes my wrists into the mattress when he's all inside of me. "Are you okay?" he whispers as he sees my tears. I nod desperately. "It feels so good, _fucking_ _hell_ _..._ Please fuck me Sir. Show me who I belong to..." I beg. Gerard moans hungrily at that and leans down to give me a rough kiss. Slowly, he starts thrusting in and out of me.

"Fuck..." he breathes out and throws his head back and picks up the pace. I groan and just let him take me. "Mine... Frankie. You're all mine. So fucking pretty..." he chokes out and bites down my neck and sucks on the skin harshly. I blush at that. I know it'll leave a dark, purple hickey. But I love it.

"I love you, Frank." he tells me again. He buries his face in the crook of my neck and keeps kissing me there. He pants, and groans, and I know he won't last long. "I love you too, Sir..." I whisper. Then suddenly he hits my prostrate, and I gasp in pleasure. I already came, so my prostrate is over sensitive and _fuck_ it's just too much. I clench my muscles together and Gerard let's out a surprised moan at that, his breaths become more erratic. His hips snap up in an animalistic pace. Harsh and uncontrolled. "Frank... I'm-" he chokes out and then gasps as he comes. He presses his hips against mine, his body trembles. I groan when I feel his cock twitch inside of me. "Fuck..." he pants and slumps down on me. I close my eyes and smile when his strong arms wrap around me. "God, Frankie, that was perfect. I swear." he whispers in my ear and kisses my neck. I nod at that. It was perfect.

After a minute or two, Gerard gets up and smiles at me. "Let's get you cleaned up, beautiful." he gets out of the bed and quickly walks to the bathroom to get a washcloth. When he returns, he sits next to me and gently cleans me up. I just lie there, and enjoy the feeling. I love it when he takes care of me like this. He makes me feel so loved.

When he's finished, he lies down next to me and pulls me close. I rest my head against his chest and sigh happily. "That was... Intense..." I whisper. Gerard smiles and pets my hair. "Good intense or bad intense?" "Good intense. No doubt. I kind of lost myself... I'm still scared to let go but... When I do I feel wonderful." I whisper. Gerard kisses my forehead. "Good to hear that. And don't worry about being a little scared, that's normal. I mean, this was only your second time. You did amazing baby." I blush and bite my lips. Gerard chuckles softly and pulls me a little closer. I smile and close my eyes. We stay like that for a while, just cuddling, until we both drift off to sleep.


	19. In Which Gerard Sees Bandit Again

**Gerard**

I knock onto the door of my house nervously. I know Lyn-Z is okay with all this. And I know that everything will be fine. But it's hard. I'm leaving my wife. It's not that easy. I mean I don't _love_ her anymore, but she's a sweet girl and didn't deserve this. A few seconds later, the door opens. "DADDY!" Bandit screams and she wraps her little arms around my legs. "I missed you!" I laugh and lift her, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I've missed you too, sweetheart." I whisper. Bandit smiles and buries her head against my chest. I rub her back gently. _My sweet little girl..._

"Daddy? Why is Frank here?" she asks me then, and points at Frank. He immediately blushes and I chuckle. "He's daddy's boyfriend." I tell her. Bandit frowns. "Boyfriend? But... You're a boy too?" I smile at her. "Yes, but two boys can also fall in love, just like two girls, or a boy and a girl." Bandit makes this O-shape with her mouth. "Then I think Mommy has a girlfriend." just as she says that, Lyn-Z walks towards the front door and blushes. "Uhmm... Hi, Gerard. Frank."

I grin. "Girlfriend?" she rolls her eyes and sighs. "Well, yeah. You know who Kitty is, right?" she says and I nod. Lyn-Z shrugs. "We're dating." I smile at her. "That's amazing!" She blushes a little. "Yeah... Well, come in." she says and takes a step aside. I put down Bandit and laugh as she runs inside and then Frank and I walk inside as well.

A few minutes later we're all settled on the couch with a drink. Frank sits very close to me. He still wears his collar. Bandit thinks it's a necklace, because that's what Lyn-Z and I told her when Lyn-Z wore one, and Lyn-Z knows Frank is my sub so she's fine with it. Frank loves wearing his collar. I squeeze his hand and he smiles at me lovingly. "So..." Lyn-Z starts then. I nod. "Yeah..."

"We need to talk this all through." she says. "So let's start at the beginning. How long have you been in love with Frank?" I blush at that question, but I know she deserves answers. "About a year. At least that's when I realized." I whisper. Lyn-Z nods. "And why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared. I didn't want to hurt you or Bandit. And I thought Frank was straight and that I didn't even have a chance. But a few weeks ago I realized that it wasn't fair." I explain. Lyn-Z smiles. "You're a good person, Gerard. And of course I'm not happy with all this, but I am glad you told me what was going on. I really am." I breathe out in relief. "I'm glad to hear that. And again, I'm sorry." Lyn-Z waves my apology away. "Don't be sorry. It's okay. I'm glad that the two of you finally found each other. It would've happened anyways. So, don't worry about Bandit. You can see her as much as you want. But we do need to sign the divorce papers, I already have them here. First, I want to hear _everything_ on how you two got together." she grins. I laugh and nod. "Of course you want to know that."

I smile at Frank. "Come sit down between my legs, please?" His face lights up at the command and he crawls off of the couch, and kneels between my knees. Bandit immediately sits down next to him and starts showing him all her toys. I chuckle and pet his hair for a moment. He sighs happily and then he starts talking with Bandit. I smile. It's good to know that Bandit likes Frank. She's seen him before of course, but not that much.

I turn to Lyn-Z. "Well... I fell in love with Frank about a year ago... And I was confused and didn't want to do anything with it, but I needed to have an outlet and somehow that lead to me writing Frerard fanfiction. A few weeks ago, Frank saw them on my laptop, and I thought I was so fucked, and then Frank told me that he read all of those and that apparently I'm his favorite author, so that's how we found out we liked each other." I tell her. She starts laughing and shakes her head. "Oh damn that is wonderful! Who knew fanfiction would be so helpful." she chuckles. I grin and shrug. She smiles. "I am glad that you called me, Gerard, when you found out that this wouldn't work anymore. I was really upset the next day, but then I realized it was better like this. And I was right. Our marriage was wonderful, Gerard, and I'll never regret it, but look at the two of you. This is what you've always wanted, a beautiful submissive like him. And now you have it, and to be honest, I am so proud of you." she smiles. I smile back at her and squeeze her hand. This means so much to me. Then she turns to Frank. "And besides that, there isn't anyone else in this world who I'd think I'd accept to be Gerard's. He needs someone who truly cares about him, and Frank, there is no one in this world who could do that as perfect as you do." she says. Frank blushes heavily and looks down for a moment. "Thank you, Lyn-Z... Thank you so much." he whispers and looks up at her timidly. She smiles at him. I can't help but smile as well. Lyn-Z is so sweet. I'm glad that she takes this all so well, and that she's dating someone. She deserves it.

"So... You and Kitty?"

Lyn-Z laughs and tells us the story. Afterwards we play hide and seek with Bandit. She wins, of course. And we sign the divorce papers. I don't like signing them, but when I see the happy looks on both Frank's and Lyn-Z's face, I know it's okay, and that I've made the right choice. Frank hugs me and I pull his little body close. "I love you so much, little one." I whisper. Frank nods against my chest. "I love you so much too."


	20. When You Drag Yourself Down

**Frank**

I bite my lips harshly as I look at myself in the mirror. I'm slightly trembling, and I know I should call Gerard, but I can't. I don't even know where my phone is, and I doubt I'd be able to find it now. I stare at the collar around my throat and swallow. I don't know why I'm freaking out. Gerard left about half an hour ago to bring Bandit back to Lyn-Z. The little girl stayed with us for a few days, and it had been amazing. Bandit is such a sweet girl. She's always happy and always wants to play. It was tiring, but I liked having her around. But because of Bandit staying here, Gerard and I neglected our D/s dynamics a little, and that brought me think about it. And now, while Gerard is gone, the thoughts are taking over.

I am such a freak. I really am. And I haven't even told Gerard half of it. He knows I'm quite the submissive guy, but I haven't told him how badly I need it. And that it freaks me out. The past few days were awesome, but I missed it. I missed being a submissive. Of course, Gerard would sometimes give me an order, and I happily did whatever he asked me to do, but it was different. And I hate how much I hate it. I haven't told Gerard how bad it made me feel to act like _a normal person_. I'm not a normal person. I'm weird. I'm a freak.

I take a deep breath and sit down on the cold floor. I'm so submissive. I don't even know if I want to be like this or not. I want to. I need to. But I hate it. Why does it always have to be me? Why do I always need to be the weird one? I've never fit in. But now? It's even worse. I whimper softly and close my eyes. 

It's been a while since I had these moments where I would just drag myself down. Where I would hate every single part of myself. I used to have that almost every day when I was younger, but the past few years, I only suffered from those moments a few times. But now... I'm there again. Dragging myself down. I groan. I hate this. I hate myself. I hate how I can never just like something normal. I hate how I always have to be different.

"Frank? I'm home!"

I tense. _Fuck._  I quickly stand up and try to put a smile on my face. _Be normal._  "Hi Gee!" I shout back downstairs, and mentally curse at myself. No need to ruin Gerard's day by being a whiny bitch. I take a deep breath and walk downstairs. Gerard smiles as he sees me. "Hey there, beautiful." he whispers and pulls me into a hug. I hug him back. _Have some composure._  "Hey Gee. How did it go?"

"Oh it was fine. Bandit was happy to see her mother again. Lyn-Z was happy to see we took such good care of her. Especially when Bandit started to talk about how we took her to the zoo." Gerard says with a smile. I force myself to smile back, and then I turn around. "I was just about to shower, so..." I say. Gerard chuckles. "Then go shower baby. Can I join you?"

_Yes, yes, yes!_

"No."

"Frank, is everything alright?" he says then worriedly. I shrug. "Yeah, just need some alone time, I guess." I whisper. Gerard takes my wrists and turns me around again. I look down. I can't look into his eyes right now. I'd cry. "Did something happen?"

I shake my head. "N-no... I just..." I stutter. _Goddammit. Can't even pretend to be okay. You're such a loser..._  Gerard sighs and pulls me in for another hug. "Sweetheart... What's going on in that head of yours?" I shrug, not able to say anything. If I open my mouth now, I'll start to cry. Gerard rubs my back soothingly and then he leads me to the couch and pulls me onto his lap. I bury my face against his chest, and Gerard strokes my hair.

"Did I do something wrong?" he whispers quietly. I quickly shake my head. No. Gerard is not to blame for any of this. "Can you tell me?" he whispers then. I shrug and start trembling again. "You're having one of these moments, aren't you?"

Gerard witnessed a lot of my bad moments. He was always the one to pull me out of it again. Especially during Revenge, it was real bad. I nod to him. "Y-yeah..." I choke out. Gerard makes a soft, painful noise, and I feel even worse for making him so worried about me.

"Talk to me."

I tense. How can I tell him that I'm scared? Scared of what I feel? That I hate myself for it? How can I tell him... That I hate being normal? That I need to submit? But I know I'll have to. And even if I'd keep my mouth shut, he'd find out. Gerard always seems to know what's wrong.

"I... I loved having Bandit around, but... I... I felt neglected..." I whisper quietly. "I felt like I had to pretend to be normal, and all I wanted was you to order me around. I wanted you to be in control, but you weren't, and that made me feel so bad and it scares me how much I need this..." I tell him. Gerard is quiet for a moment. _See... He thinks you're a freak. Stupid boy. You shouldn't have told him._

"Frankie..." Gerard whispers then and places a soft kiss on my forehead. "Why didn't you say so?" I shrug and bite my lips harshly. "I thought... I mean. Bandit was around..." I whisper. Gerard sighs again and lifts my chin to make me look at him.

"I'm glad that you told me now. And I'm so sorry I neglected you like that and-"

"N-No Gee, it's not your fault... You couldn't have known... I mean, I'm just weird..." I whisper. Gerard frowns at me. "Frank, stop it. None of this is weird, you just don't know that... Hey, sweetheart... Do you really think that what you feel is weird?" he asks me then, carefully. A tear rolls down my cheek and I nod. "Oh baby... What you feel is not strange. It might seem strange to people who've never heard of it but... I think you're more than just a submissive."

"W-what do you mean?"

"Well, we already figured out that you like to be mine, and that you like it when I'm not only your Dominant when we're having sex, right?" I nod to that. "I thought you only liked it just a little bit, but now I see that I was wrong. It felt wrong, without control, didn't it?"

"It did..."

"I think you might be a slave... That might sound strange, especially when you've never heard of it within the BDSM community. But it basically means that you give up control to me, more than a submissive would. I would be your owner, instead of your Dom. The difference might be a little vague, but it really is different..." he explains to me. I frown at him. _Slave? Owner?_

"I... I don't..." I whisper. Gerard smiles at me. "Don't think about this too much right now, okay? We'll figure this all out. But first I'm going to take care of you. Want to shower together?"

I nod hesitantly. "Yes, please..."


	21. Curiousity

**Gerard**

I laugh as Frank pouts at me. "Please can I have the last apple?" I grin. "Why?" Frank sighs. "Because I'm hungry? And I like apples?" I chuckle. "Sure, you can have it." I smile. Frank smiles. "Thank you, Sir." I smile at him and watch him as he stands up to get the apple. As he comes back, he sits down between my legs and takes a bite out if the apple. I reach out and pet his hair.

Frank sighs in pleasure and rests his head against my leg while I keep running my fingers through his hair. He's cute. It's strange. I've done this a few times with Lyn-Z but it never felt quite as right as it does now. Having Frank as a sub... It fulfills something inside of me. Though I have to say that it hurt me twice as bad as normal when Frank felt so bad yesterday. When he thought he was weird. When he hated himself. When we were just friends it hurt me too, but now... It was killing me.

But we took a shower and he seemed to relax. I let Frank cook and that's when he finally seemed to feel better. He smiled again. Made jokes. Hummed to himself when he thought I couldn't hear him. He truly needs this. He needs someone to be in control. I love being that person.

Frank takes another bite out of the apple and looks up at me. "Why are you smiling?"

"You make me happy."

Frank blushes and looks down. "You make me happy too."

"Good. So, what would you like to do today?" I ask him then. Frank shrugs. "I don't know... Maybe we could... No nevermind."

"What?"

"Forget it. It's silly."

I lift Frank's chin and force him to look at me. "What did I tell you about this?" I ask him demandingly. Frank bites his lips and sighs softly.

"Nothing I think is silly..."

"Exactly. What did you want to say?"

"That maybe we could go out for dinner tonight..."

"Why on earth would you think it's silly?"

Frank shrugs. "It's not really like... I don't even know." he sighs and looks down. Not because he's blushing this time. I take the apple out of his hand and help him to crawl into my lap. Then I wrap my arms tightly around him and pull him close.

"Tell me what you're thinking, baby. Just say everything that comes to mind. Don't worry, you know I won't think any less of you, no matter what you say. It'd make me proud of you if you'd be honest." I whisper. Frank swallows.

"Well, half of the time I don't even know what I want. I mean... I wanted to go out for dinner, but then I remembered how you are my Dom and then I started to doubt if you'd like going out for dinner, and then I started doubting if I would want it because I'd have act normal again but if I don't go out then I'll never get used to behaving normal and I just honestly feel like I don't know anything anymore." he whispers and gives me this sad look that breaks my heart. I kiss his forehead gently and rub his back.

"Thank you for talking to me, Frank. I know it's hard sometimes, but I'm glad you do because now I feel like I might be able to help you..." I say then and wait a few seconds to let Frank process it before I continue.

"You're not completely right though. It might feel as if in a restaurant you'd have to behave 'normal', which I still think is the wrong word to describe it, because you're not weird. But it doesn't have to be like that." I start. Frank looks up at me curiously and I smile at the little spark of hope in his eyes. I kiss his forehead again. "Do you know how many ways there are to submit? A few examples, and don't take this as something you have to do, because you might like some things and dislike others, and that's okay, but think about them. You could open the door for me. You could still call me Sir. You could let me choose what you eat or drink, or ask my permission for something, just like you did with the apple just yet. Have you thought of these things? If you want to let go of your submissive part for a while, that's fine too, but if you don't want that, these are some things we could agree upon and no one will notice."

Frank takes a deep breath and then smiles at me. "I'd love to try some of these things." he says and blushes. I chuckle. "Come here you cute little thing." I whisper as I pull him as close as possible and kiss him. Frank hums and kisses me back passionately.

"I love you Gee... So much. Thank you for being so patient with me."

"Hey, don't forget that the non-sexual BDSM thing is still new to me as well. And I love discovering all of it together with you."

"Good. So... Uhm, I think letting you choose my food is a little too much control for me to give up yet, but I think I might like to try it one day. But I'd love it if I would have to ask for your permission for like... I don't know, everything?" Frank says and blushes again. I smile. "I'd love that too, Frankie."


	22. Frank Likes This. A Lot.

**Frank**

I smile at Gerard as we walk to the entrance of the restaurant. I am very excited to have dinner with him. I mean, it's our first time going to a restaurant together as a couple, and that is exciting, but I'm also just really excited about getting deeper into the 'slave' thing. I'm still not that comfortable with the word slave, but that's probably because we're all raised with the idea that slavery is wrong. And slavery _is_ wrong, but what I mean right now, is way different. But even though I'm not comfortable with using the word slave, I'm 99 percent sure that that's what I am.

Make that hundred.

I smile happily as I finally feel like I am starting to accept all of this. It still scares me, but I finally know that it's okay to be scared. When it gets too scary, Gerard is there too comfort me. He'll always be there for me. Gerard takes my hand and stops walking. I look at him curiously. "Why did you stop?" Gerard smiles and caresses the back of my hand with his thumb. "Just want to kiss you before we go inside." he whispers and with that, he gently kisses my lips. Before I even have the chance to respond, he pulls back. I pout at him. "You'll have more tonight, okay?" he whispers seductively and I love and hate how that makes me blush again.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good boy." he smiles and trails his fingers over my leather wristband for a couple of seconds. I feel my chest swell with pride as he says that. Honestly, I love it way too much when he says that. "Come on, Frankie, let's go inside." he smiles as he notices how happy I am at this moment. I nod to him and open the door. I let him walk inside first, and then I follow.

"Good evening, gentlemen."

I take a small step aside so I can see past Gerard, and see a waitress. Gerard tells her we made a reservation. She nods, takes our jackets and then brings us to our table. "Would you already like anything to drink, maybe?"

I look at Gerard. "Take anything you want, baby." he smiles. I can see a small frown on the waitress face as she hears him call me that, but within a second the smile is back. "I'd like a Bud Light please." I say. The waitress nods and writes it down, and then looks at Gerard. "Same for me."

"Thank you. Would you like to see the menu?" she asks Gerard then and he nods. She smiles at us. "Coming right away." And with that, she walks off.

"Anything I want?" I say with a grin. Gerard chuckles. "Only for now, Frankie." he smiles. "So, how do you feel?" he asks me then. I bite my lower lip as I try to contain the biggest smile I may have had the past few days. "Great, actually! I feel free, if that makes any sense to you? I mean... I thought I would feel trapped between all these people. But I don't feel like that at all. Thank you."

"Thank me for what?"

I shrug. "For making me talk. I was scared, and talking about it with you made me feel a lot better." I say and chuckle. "Does it make any sense?" Gerard nods and takes my hand. "It does make sense. I'm so glad you feel good now. I love seeing you happy. And you have no idea what it means to me that you put so much trust in me. So thank you too."

I grin. "No problem, Sir. I bet-"

"Here are your drinks and the menus." I look up startled at the waitress, and she frowns at us. "Sorry, did I interrupt anything important?" she asks us then. Gerard chuckles. "No you didn't, don't worry about it." She lets out a small breath and serves us the drinks and hands us the menus, before walking away again. Gerard grins at me. "Very smooth, Frankie." he laughs. I roll my eyes at him. "Oh shut up."

Gerard raises an eyebrow. "How did you speak to me?" I blush heavily. "Sorry, Sir."

"Hmm that sounds more like it." he smiles at me. I look at the menu card in my hands, trying to distract myself. I guess I still don't know how to react. I like it when he corrects me. Oh yes I do. I feel a slight hint of frustration when I just can't seem to find out why I need his guidance so badly. But then I remember we're in a restaurant and I take a long, deep breath. As I exhale, I feel the tension fade away. I'll think about this later. See? That's better.

I see that Gerard also started reading the menu so I decide to do that as well. I skip the meals that have any kind of meat in them, and then I see a few vegetarian meals.

"Oh this sounds so delicious..." I whisper. Gerard looks up at me and smiles.

"Yes? Which one do you want?"

"Can I please have the vegetarian spinach lasagna, Sir?"

Gerard looks at it and thinks for a moment. "Fine, but no more alcohol for you this evening if you choose that." I bite my lips. I really want the spinach lasagna. And Gerard implied he'd like to fuck tonight. So I shouldn't drink that much. "Okay. Deal." I say then. Gerard smiles and orders the food. Then he raises his glass and smiles at me.

"On our journey together."

I giggle and raise my glass as well. "On our journey together."


End file.
